confused
this morning cam and i went to costco with paul. paul was fascinated with a tricycle, so we pulled it down and let him ride it around for a little bit. cam complained that our house was too small (or that we needed more room, i can't remember the exact wording). i said it would be okay if we only cleaned up. he disagreed and reiterated that we needed more room. "do you want to move?" i asked. "or do you want to build?"
"we have no money," he said.
"then i don't want anything for christmas," i replied, half-seriously.
silence. cam walked off.
i felt dejected and not entirely sure why. he returned, an ugly smile on his face. i had forgotten he even had an ugly smile. "fine, let's fight about money."
but i wasn't starting a fight. i wanted to cry.
we were more or less silent after that, but less than half an hour later, cam was kind again. "you haven't smiled in an hour," he said, worried. he tried to hold my hand. i wasn't exactly having it. he had to wait for me to unthaw. i did, eventually.
we never talked about that moment. was i being unfair in not relenting when he did?