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sahm

today i was joking (via email) around with a secretary about her partner's seeming unwillingness to send me an email to make a change in the system.

me: You get him out of his office, I'll run in and type an email to myself from him. :)
her: LOL!!!! excellent idea!!
me: And then I'll lose my job and finally get to be a stay-at-home mom. Not a bad deal, actually!
her: I see the underlying goal here . . . . . . heeeeeeheeeee...
me: Ah, wishful thinking....

ever since i heard that a well-respected administrator at our firm is leaving for a job close to home with regular hours (said she, "it's been really busy here for quite a while and i've been really feeling guilty about not being able to spend enough time with my kids"), i've been feeling a bit wistful about my son. last night when cam brought him home from his parents' house, he was already 98% asleep, so i held him in my arms until he was completely out, then tucked him in and stayed in his bed with him for a bit, sniffing his warm baby head and kissing his little silky baby cheek. when he wakes me in the night ("mommy?") i try not to be grumpy. i enjoy the fact that that his first waking thought is of me.

everyone is telling me that he's at an excellent age and i need to enjoy it because babies grow up too fast. i know this. i think about it and i get so pale blue that i can hardly see.

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