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i need a mute button

i tell my mom just about everything. okay, maybe that's not entirely true... but i do tell her a lot. i mean, hey, i live with her. we talk. sometimes she gets on my nerves, but i'm sure most of the time i get on hers.

after reading about the exploits of certain nameless related folk, i am dying -- LITERALLY DYING -- to tell her about it. i am struggling. i am on the verge of stapling my mouth shut.

i've faced this before -- i found some rather fleshy tacky pics online and had to practically sit on myself to keep from mentioning them to my mom. BUT this... this... this is too good to be believed. (or too bad, for that matter.) i suspect that the reason why i am so very much freaking out about this is because what i've read just trashes every myth we've ever been forced to believe. it is so family-reputation destroying. not that i want to do that, but it's just that i've been raised (hit over the head with a hammer, slapped into submission, etc. etc. etc.) to take a certain thing as gospel and apparently it's not entirely true. there's a certain vindication in that, to be sure, but really, it's just good dirt and if there's anything my mom and i enjoy, it's good dirt.

just writing this has strengthened my resolve not to talk. i don't feel like fucking with my mom's head. she believes what i used to believe and i think maybe she's better off that way.

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