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measure of a man

me: [looking out the window] if cam doesn't show up by 4:30, he's a liar.
me: unless he went to pick up my dry cleaning -- in which case he's good.
my assistant: cam is always good!
my assistant: i need to recondition you.
me: look.
me: i've crawled under the bed for his dirty socks for eight years.
me: EIGHT years.
me: i think that gives me authority to say when he's good and when he isn't.

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