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my assistant is out today. not because his wife gave birth or something monumental like that -- but because his stomach is bothering him.

me: your stomach?

apparently he ate something that did not quite agree with him. he claims he'll be in on monday, but it's quite possible he'll have a new daughter by then. it must be a hell of a stomachache to keep him home on payday, considering he doesn't yet have direct deposit.

my boss: can i give you his paycheck?
me: sure.
my boss: try not to spend it all in the same place.
me: i'll try...



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