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overheard

x: we have errands to run.
y: we do?
y: oh yeah, we have to go to the atm.
y: what else?
x: we have to go [indistinct speech]
x: ... and we have to buy tissue.
y: wait, i don't want to go with you because you're sick!
x: if you don't come with me, i will touch you.
y: what?
y: if i do go with you...
x: i will not touch you.

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