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fluff and nonsense

been thinking a little bit about blogs and their purpose (personal ones only).

if you commit to having one, you should write as much as you can. if you direct friends, family, whoever to your blog, you should be real and genuine and write about what and who you are. if you write a mommy blog -- as i tend to classify mine -- you should write about your child[ren] and what they're doing and saying and being. if all you do is put up pictures and crow about milestones once a month, you're not keeping much of a blog.

i wonder about the people who write nothing but shiny superlatives on the joy of having a child. do they genuinely feel that glowy after a marathon bout with infant diarrhea? after the onset of teething? after a night of hellishness -- with neighbors banging on the walls AS IF that would lull a miserable child into sweet slumber -- do they want to sit down at their computer and coo blatant falsehoods into the abyss? these people make me feel ashamed of myself and the decision that i'm currently grappling with (paul's infancy was not delightful enough to make me automatically want another infant in my home). apparently i need to make more kissyfaces and babysounds -- then maybe paul will vomit pure gold the next time he cries hard enough to make himself throw up.

but maybe they are just being overly mindful of their audience. cam told me, when i was still incognito (so to speak), that if i knew that telling specific people about my site was going to result in self-editing, then i shouldn't tell them about it. i have kept that in my mind for the past year now, and as a result, i haven't told very many people i know personally about this little labor of love. if i knew my mom was reading this -- and her sisters -- and my cousins -- i might freak out a little bit. self-consciousness would set in. i'd be ever so wary of stray profanity. i'd want to work on my diplomacy. i'd feel obligated to make shout-outs to such-and-such-blood-relative for doing this-and-that. it's not worth it. so... mom, aunts and cousins, if you're reading this, do the decent thing and keep your fucking mouths shut.

i know my blog isn't deep. it isn't particularly funny to anyone except me (and cam). i'm happy with that. what keeps me writing this blog is the sense that i am creating a more or less accurate snapshot of a life in a time. blurry. cross-eyed. it's not like those pretty glossy photos that come with a new picture frame or a new wallet.

har. enough back-patting for the night.



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