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the toy store

paul is obsessed with the idea that there are secret remote-contolled toys hiding in his closet. completely obsessed.

me: it's bedtime.
paul: let's go to my room.
paul: carry me.
paul: carry me to the closet.

i try to convince to him that we don't have anything remote-controlled in the closet, but he doesn't believe me. he does know that there's a toy in there he can't have until he's three (which is really going to disappoint him, i'm sure, once he actually is three, because it's not a particularly interesting toy -- it's a gift he got two years ago that made cam look at me and me look at cam and think "fucking hell were x and y thinking when they bought this clearly age-inappropriate toy?") so i guess he has taken the idea of the withheld gift and has blown it up into something huge and battery-powered.

i feel sort of embarrassed about the whole thing because i know that i have helped to foster this false notion -- i haven't really let him go into the closet because i've feared him getting into stuff i've been trying to stash away, especially toys i'm trying to rotate out of his room. he might not play with something for what seems like decades, but he sees it in the closet and suddenly it's the best damned toy he's ever seen -- for the next ten minutes. then he leaves me in the wreckage of his room, bits of toy strewn all over the place for me to pick up and put away again.

there are also new toys in his closet, stuff i bought a while back and stashed for his birthday, assorted holidays and other gift-giving occasions. he knows about most of them, which irritates me mightily, but what can you do? it's not like i can hypnotize paul into forgetting that the toys exist. the child remembers. i never let him into the closet, so i think he found the stuff while my mom was the guard on duty, and she didn't realize that it was supposed to be a secret.

one day, i am going to have to clean out that closet to prove to the boy that he is wrong about its contents. of course, cam has an idea about one day finding the appropriate toy and hiding it in there for paul to find. whose will is stronger?



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