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life with paul

sitting in the shopping cart, paul informed me he wanted to play foosball with my coworker and her baby.

me: i think her baby is a little young for foosball.
paul: [hard stare]
paul: [thinking] excuse me, lady, at 10 months i was plenty old enough for foosball, thank you very much.

feeling a little sheepish under his unblinking gaze, i busied myself in the giftwrap aisle, where he proceeded to embarrass me by asking loudly, "is that a man?" when a really tall and heavyset female sales associate walked by.

i simply could not win.

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