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tiny nutty lies

i have a bad habit of not speaking up when people so generously give me nuts. i just can't say, "oh, thanks, you're so nice, but i can't eat that."

instead, i say, "oh, thanks, you're so nice."

friends and family who know of my allergy are aghast. "tell her!" they cry, a greek chorus singing warily of my impending death. the problem is that i probably have, at least once. if the message is not received, well, i'm not going to rebroadcast at the point when they have boxes of nutty goodness in their hands and friendly smiles on their faces. and if they're just eating it and not pushing me to have some, well, what can i say? "please stop eating that in front of me. i demand you lysol this entire cubicle to get rid of the scent."

just yesterday a friend told me i couldn't eat what she was going to bake. fine, i thought, pleased that she thought about this in advance.

me: well, as long as it doesn't have nuts...
her: coconut is a nut, right?
me: um, i can eat coconut.
her: really?

this same friend, amusingly enough, was crunching handfuls of a nutty trail mix while talking to me a bit later. she knows that just the smell can ruin an entire day for me, but she forgot. selective. (i guess based on our conversation, peanuts aren't nuts, they're peas.) i just held my breath and hoped she wasn't offended by my silence.

one of the most egregious nut-givers is one of the nicest ladies i know. i did tell her about my allergies (and paul's allergies), and she made sympathetic noises -- but then proceeded to give me snacks with nuts almost every day for a year. i just took them graciously, then wrapped them in ziplocs for my mom. (lucky her, she is not cursed with the same health issue.)

at this time of year, i expect to be offered nuts left and right. here's a peanut butter lollipop for all your help! here, taste this pecan pie i made just for you. next year maybe i'll put epinephrine on my xmas wishlist.

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