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the big eater

me: hi.
paul: hello.
me: how are you?
paul: fine.
paul: i am eating a million sugars.
me: a million sugars?
me: why are you eating a million sugars?
paul: because i like a millions things.

my mom:
he asked me, "do you have sugar?"
i said, "yeah, i think so."
then he said he wanted a million.
"a million! i don't want to count to a million."
so i took a spoon and just started pouring.
he said, "stop! that's already a million."
he was trying to count the grains.

she also reported that he had eaten nectarines, bacon, tiny wheat-free waffles and jelly. (oh good, actual food.)

paul: i want to go out.
me: where do you want to go?
paul: in 'n' out.
paul: i'm hungry.
paul: i want french fries and coke.
me: but you're already eating a lot.
paul: no, i'm not.
paul: i'm just eating a little.
paul: bye. [hangs up]

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