this is really dumb, but
a few months back, the building managers/owners/whatnot installed little screens in all of the elevators (okay, well, probably not the freight ones). these little screens are tapped into the captivate network. every single time i get into an elevator, i think one of two things:
"mesmerize" would work just as well as "captivate"
or
ha ha, we're a "captive" audience
now that i've admitted this, maybe now i can get past the cheesy jokes and just revel in the pleasure of being hand-delivered trivia and advertising while on the go. there's a reason why i don't take the express elevators.