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beware of the scissors

my mom: he woke up, he said he was hungry.
my mom: so he stood in front of the refrigerator for a long time.
my mom: he decided he wanted the jello.
me: [thinking] oh god, i forgot to throw that out WEEKS ago.
my mom: i opened it up and it was moldy.
me: [sheepishly] yeah.
my mom: i said, "oh, you can't eat that," and i showed it to him.
my mom: then he fell on the floor and said, "i'm dead already."
me: what?
my mom: [patiently] "i'm dead already."
me: oh.
my mom: [to paul] do you want to talk to your mommy?
paul: [getting on the phone] mmm mmmm mm [running away]
me: what did you say, sweetie?
me: paul?
my mom: [to paul] are you done?
paul: yes.
my mom: he doesn't want to talk because he's "dead again."

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