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cubbyhole

last night my nerves were shot.

paul wouldn't go to sleep. the cat outside the house wouldn't stop crying out. the dishwasher wouldn't work. cam was preoccupied.

i burst into tears trying to read paul to sleep. i gave up and went to my room and let him whine, whine, whine. cam appeared ready to jump in to save paul from me and my cruel heart, but i prevented him.

cam got the dishwasher working and got paul to settle down as i tried to cry myself to sleep. but i wasn't even successful at that, so i sat in my bedroom closet for an hour and cried there, looking for a little corner where at least if nobody liked me, then maybe i could be sad and alone. i got up and went to bed around midnight.

i didn't feel like talking this morning, so cam was mad at me. i wish i could go back to the closet.

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