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far tmi

so... i had a mirena iud "installed" (cam's word) today. well, that's five years of birth control all wrapped up in a little thingamajigger fishhook-looking thing of plastic (complete with fishing line that can be trimmed to... the appropriate length). nice.

cam and i had been talking vasectomy for a while now, but when we finally started in on the topic recently, i started to cry. even though we had 1) agreed that two was it, and 2) are in the midst of wails, diapers, sleepless nights and spit-up soaked days, it suddenly seemed particularly heartwrenching to me that we would no longer have the option to have any more children. the finality of it was just too much. we then agreed that we'd get the iud to give us some breathing room.

i don't really want more children. honestly. two is all i can handle. but the idea of slamming that door shut and locking it forever just breaks my heart right now.



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