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glass wholly empty

the other day it hit me that i am a negative thinker. i don't do shades of gray.

i'm defined by what i don't like, don't eat, don't wear. i'm known for amazing willpower -- for what i won't do. there needs to be a negative component to everything. i love my family, but sometimes i don't like them. i enjoy shopping, but i hate shopping for this body. when i drink alcohol, it starts out well and good, but then i degenerate into a teary, mopey drunk.

maybe that should have been my new year's resolution -- to become a positive thinker. to think about myself in brighter, more pleasant terms. to think about what i like and not in terms of what i don't. to not hate my job with such passion, but to focus on what good there is to be found there.

already i'm feeling skeptical.

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