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through the woods

yesterday, we went to visit my grandmother in the hospital. she has pneumonia, and at her age and in her state of decline, it could be fatal.

well, actually, my mother and i went to visit my grandmother -- cam stayed behind with the kids at my aunt's house because the kids weren't old enough to come along. i realized that perhaps i could have gotten a ride with my mom (and let cam stay at home with the kids), but cam pointed out correctly that if i had done so, he would have been in trouble because my mom intended to spend the night out there.

my grandmother is so frail and so exhausted. i look at her, and i'm not sure how i feel. naturally i don't want her to die, but i think she wants to, even though there's an event coming up that she's been waiting a long time to see. i can't really judge the quality of her life, but i have to wonder if this sickly existence is really the life she wants to be living.

when the mind and the body are both willing, how long until the end?



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