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introspection and appearance

i have poor self-image combined with a lack of initiative and an ever-slowing metabolism, and just enough self-awareness to have a notion that my standards of beauty or whatever are not entirely realistic.

....which means that i think i'm getting fatter and uglier (but am somehow unable to do anything about it), and yet i can still see that the reasonably attractive people i know in real life are not all that far off from me.

so be it. i will never fit into a pxxs. i will never wear a 00p or even a 0p. even though, as people on fashion forums so knowledgeably hold forth, you HAVE to be on the tiny side if you're short, it just won't happen for me. so no more blogs expounding the wonders of "petite-worthy" teeny tiny clothes, no more "quick, there's only one more size xxxs, you better grab it" entreaties, no more "wow, this size 4 fits like a 0, so awesome... i've never worn something as big as 4 before" -- i'm making myself feel bad for the sake of feeling bad. i don't have time for this.

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