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september is always a busy month. it is also a heartbreaking month.

every september we do the labor day family get-together thing. usually there is a first day of school in there somewhere. (now that lausd has shifted to an earlier start, this may be our very last post-labor day first day of school.)

september is a month of beginnings and ends. my brother and mother were born in september. the guy formerly known as my work-bff was born in september. my childhood rival (and cousin) was born in september. my father died in september.

september 11, 2001 was one of the most tragic days in the history of the united states.

what do i think of when i think of september? my brother's birthday, hands down. i don't know why this is, but that's just how it's always been and probably forever will be. he would be 41 this year had he lived. therein lies my biggest single regret: that i never knew him as an adult. when he died, he was an adult, but i was something less, doing what sheltered 18-year-olds do, pretending we fucking know it all.

funny how we never do actually get to know it all. at what age does one finally take a step back and admit that "you know what, i talk a good game, but underneath it all i know nothing"? at 37, i admit i know nothing ALL. THE. TIME.

(geek alert: i also like to say: "you know nothing, jon snow.")

this--above all months--is the month i want to run through quickly. this month--above all months--drags.



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