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with every worthless word we get so far away

two months to the day after i gave notice and one month since i last heard from him:

You have time to catch up today? Back from 2 weeks living out of a suitcase and catching up. [mentor] is in NY and just bought me a delicious ice cream. Wanted to see how you are doing and what's going on in sunny California.

speechlessness.

how dare you try to waltz back into my life and act like NOTHING has happened?

you know what's going on in sunny california? the breaking of my heart into a thousand pieces and the painfully slow process of rebuilding it.

i shot an email to my mentor to inquire:
I heard you bought a tall stranger a "delicious ice cream."

he responded in the affirmative, so i went on:
He wants to catch up. I don't know if I can talk to him without tears or rage.

he replied:
Both are good. You might both end up crying, however.

so i girded up my loins and wrote back:
Yes. You know the number.

of course, it was kind of late by then, so the window had passed and he was no longer available. i responded that we could chat earlier in the day later in the week.

omfg. omg. why now? did the mentor prod him? did he gently suggest that speaking to me was something that he needed to do?

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