« snuggles | main | burdens »


a few days ago i tried to interest nola in a project. go through these magazines with me, i said, and we'll cut out things that look good to us and make a collage. she readily agreed, but it was the afternoon following the last day of school and she was antsy-pantsy in a familiar way, so she soon left me in search of more active and/or digital pursuits.

my "things that look good to us" quickly narrowed down to "things i like in houses, specifically the house i want to have." for the past few days, i've gone through a few more magazines, cut out a few more pictures.

these magazines, oddly enough, represent a strange failure for me. i don't know why i have them, who ordered them, who paid for them, etc. etc. etc. but i have them and for some reason it fills me with absolute guilt to toss them into recycling without looking at them. the fashion magazines, i leave until last because i am a painfully sad wreck of a formerly stylish type. the parenting magazines, i leave until almost last because i am totally of the "go find something to do and call me if you have a problem" school of parenting (and i know the recipes are going to be full of cheese and eggs because that's how you appeal to children who can eat cheese and eggs). so what have i been reading? better homes and gardens. then i log into archive of our own and read softcore about middle aged men to cleanse my soul.

i just looked at the pile of magazines and my silly unglued collage lying on the floor, and i think it will all just go into recycling. it's not important enough for me to care to finish it. i think i can deal with the guilt of unread magazines.



powered by movable type 4.12