paul: mommy?
me: hm?
paul: daddy already got up.
me: okay.
paul: i have to get closer to you because i want some warmness.
me: okay, let's snuggle.
tomorrow paul and i are going to spend the day together while cam works from home (his last day before a two-week vacation). i am not sure what we're going to do. we've talked about a walk, i've thought about baking a cake, but chances are just as good that we'll sit on the couch and watch a variety of tivo'd shows about tornadoes. i'm not really sure how the day will go, but i am determined to not take up the day with housework and nesting-type crap when this is the last day that paul will be an only child. it will be a good day, goddammit.
today cam and i talked a little about stuff we'll do once the baby arrives. we'll come along to preschool, i declare bravely, we'll go for picnics, all four of us. we'll fly a kite, cam says, making a mental note to buy a new one because god only knows where the old one went. we smile, but there's a hint of nervous desperation behind it because we know that very soon things will NEVER BE THE SAME. may paul forgive us for what we are about to do to his world.
]]>low point: a little girl asked me if i was going to have a baby -- because the teacher was talking to them, i was too afraid to say anything for fear it would be disruptive. she must have thought i was dumb. (i chuckled to (and at) myself later.)
high point: paul's strut. that boy can walk. that will be useful when he grows up.
]]>paul: [holding it up] when i put this in front of you, i'm going to marry you, mommy.
what?
cam: you can't marry mommy, that's my job.
paul then spent about 15-20 minutes chasing me around the house to put the centerpiece at my feet. he seemed to have shed his oedipal moment, though, and kept telling cam that it was time to marry me.
]]>at 38 weeks:
asleep by 8.