low foot clearance

tomorrow is my due date, but i don't expect to spend it in the hospital. nope, we'll save that for friday.

tomorrow paul and i are going to spend the day together while cam works from home (his last day before a two-week vacation). i am not sure what we're going to do. we've talked about a walk, i've thought about baking a cake, but chances are just as good that we'll sit on the couch and watch a variety of tivo'd shows about tornadoes. i'm not really sure how the day will go, but i am determined to not take up the day with housework and nesting-type crap when this is the last day that paul will be an only child. it will be a good day, goddammit.

today cam and i talked a little about stuff we'll do once the baby arrives. we'll come along to preschool, i declare bravely, we'll go for picnics, all four of us. we'll fly a kite, cam says, making a mental note to buy a new one because god only knows where the old one went. we smile, but there's a hint of nervous desperation behind it because we know that very soon things will NEVER BE THE SAME. may paul forgive us for what we are about to do to his world.

posted by grace at 11:47 PM on 04/30/08
posted to cam | mr. baby | t-rex

i brought home the decorations from the baby shower. one of them was a centerpiece -- a heart-shaped "baby" sign mounted on a lavender honeycomb tissue thing. (sorry, i don't know how else to describe it.) paul found it very amusing -- and quickly found a bizarre use for it.

paul: [holding it up] when i put this in front of you, i'm going to marry you, mommy.

what?

cam: you can't marry mommy, that's my job.

paul then spent about 15-20 minutes chasing me around the house to put the centerpiece at my feet. he seemed to have shed his oedipal moment, though, and kept telling cam that it was time to marry me.

posted by grace at 7:42 AM on 04/22/08
posted to cam | mr. baby

cam and i are working from home today because we have a busy non-work afternoon ahead of us. we are in separate rooms. if it wasn't for the fact that i'd feel like a dweeb, i would IM him. as it is, i might as well just holler.

posted by grace at 8:56 AM on 04/ 4/08
posted to cam

i don't know if it was intentional, but i nearly cried when i saw that my lunchtime sandwich (made for me each morning by cam) was heart-shaped. am guessing that it was the only way he could fit two halves into the little container, but still.

posted by grace at 12:20 PM on 03/25/08
posted to cam

i know you didn't mean any harm, but i think the proper response to "when you wake up [after a nap], you can think about dinner" might be something along the lines of "okay, sure," or "what would you like for dinner?" -- not "i thought i already had it." what about me? have you not noticed i have served and cleaned up after you and paul all day long? did you not even wonder if i've eaten today? i know i'm somewhat overemotional and cloudy of mind because i'm sick and that i need to make similar allowances for you because you're sick, too, but i still think you could have thought about me for a second.

posted by grace at 10:08 PM on 02/17/08
posted to blues | cam

cam is still sick at home. but paul is also rather ill, and dammit if i don't feel like hell, too.

um, happy valentine's day.

posted by grace at 7:58 AM on 02/14/08
posted to cam | mr. baby

cam stayed home today, sick as a dog. poor thing.

posted by grace at 7:41 AM on 02/13/08
posted to cam

cam put up a light fixture above the sink in the kitchen. the timing is a little funny because we just got a dishwasher and therefore don't really need that kind of task lighting anymore, but who cares? we finally no longer have a bunch of old wires sticking out of a hole in the ceiling!

posted by grace at 12:42 PM on 02/12/08
posted to cam

a day after the superbowl, cam declares he will never drink again, at least not the way he did last night. i would like to hold him to that.

posted by grace at 9:07 PM on 02/ 4/08
posted to cam

last night cam and i had an appointment to see a mortgage person over at our credit union. we want to refinance and were fortunate enough to lock in a great rate.

while filling out the paperwork, the rep asked us how long we had been married.

almost ten years, cam told her.

she was amused. "you act like newlyweds. me and my husband, we've been married a year and a half and no one would mistake us for newlyweds."

newlyweds? are we that cutesy?

posted by grace at 12:48 PM on 01/25/08
posted to cam

if cam knows what's good for him, "so... i've been thinking..." should be the scariest words in the english language.

posted by grace at 9:38 AM on 01/19/08
posted to cam | obsessions

happy birthday, cam my dear.

posted by grace at 2:01 PM on 01/11/08
posted to cam

cam has been directing paul through a series of very complicated obstacles courses -- climb through tunnels, take two complete spins on the sit & spin, shoot a dart at a punching bag, put on shoes, etc. etc. etc. this is very much a father-son activity.

paul: [to cam] are you done?
paul: [exasperated] you have to stop.
paul: this is taking too long.

but, of course, as he finishes each run, he tells his father the next one should be longer.
paul: overcross.
paul: that means longer.
paul: it's an overcross obstacle course.
paul: you have to reset everything.

he's usually in bed by this time, but cam had him take a long nap earlier today in order to stay awake tonight to watch some of the new year's eve festivities. it seems to me that such active play can only wear him down faster, but since they're having so much fun i'll happily keep my mouth shut.

posted by grace at 9:29 PM on 12/31/07
posted to cam | mr. baby

i took the day off work because i had my big ultrasound scheduled for today.

took advantage of the free morning by attending preschool with paul and cam. preschool was an interesting experience. paul was up-and-down, but i think it was a pretty good day. he did, however, not listen to cam when it was time to return inside after playground time, and that was a little stressful. when the teacher snapped at me for asking paul if he needed help on a ladder, that was also stressful. meh. what did she think i was going to do, grab him off the ladder and spoonfeed him pureed peas? he was stuck. i just asked if he needed help. the "working" parents that day made me feel in the way, so i tried to stick to the wall and be unobtrusive as possible. the children themselves -- when they noticed me -- were a bit more welcoming.

during a playtime, a girl yelled at paul he was playing hopscotch incorrectly. he raised his arm as if to strike her, then hid behind me with his usual, "i don't want ANYTHING."

me: [yelling girl] is brutal.
cam: paul is a ninny.

as soon as class was over, i headed to the car to drink a quart of water before the appointment.

when paul finally finished his goodbyes, we all went to kaiser for my ultrasound appointment. the lab tech called me in quickly (half an hour prior to my actual appointment!) and told cam and paul that he'd call them in to see pictures after the exam. the exam part took about 15 minutes, mostly spent in silence. then the tech left to bring in cam and paul. after several minutes, he returned alone, saying he was unable to find them. i was really disappointed, but what could i do? he rushed through some shots, then asked me if i wanted to know the sex. i said yes, and he indicated that he was "leaning towards a girl." then it was all over. i asked if i'd get pictures, and he breezily said his printer was broken. there i was, disappointed about cam and paul missing out, disappointed about his lack of certainly re gender and disappointed by the lack of pictures. well. it wasn't that the tech wasn't nice, because he was, but he was awfully cavalier about the whole thing.

as i opened the door to the waiting room, cam and paul walked up. they took one look at me and realized that the appointment was over. cam looked pissed and paul started wailing. they were so clearly upset about missing the ultrasound that i started to cry. i didn't even get to the bathroom, even though i was on the verge of desperation (the bladder of a pregnant woman is no laughing matter). i was too busy apologizing to paul.

but, as usual, out of the wreckage came a few moments of hilarity.

paul: [tearful] but how do they know it's a girl?
cam: they're looking for something.
paul: what?
cam: uh, okay, they're looking for a thing -- like yours.
cam: if they don't find one, then it's a girl.
cam: because little girls don't have one.
paul: but big girls do?
cam: um, no, they don't.
paul: [practically sobbing] but how do they pee?
me: can we please not have this conversation NOW?

we dropped paul off with his grandfather (and i had my much needed bathroom break), then we went home to take a nap. cam explained he wasn't mad at me, but i wasn't really convinced. if i hadn't been lying on a table with gel all over my stomach, i would have told the tech i'd find them myself (they were in the bathroom, by the way).

it was a pretty exhausting day. as nice as it was to take a day off work, enough bummerish things happened to make it less than fully pleasant. i guess i just had idealized visions of how the day was supposed to be.

posted by grace at 7:04 PM on 12/12/07
posted to blues | cam | mr. baby | t-rex

my little fanboy of a husband went out and bought an iphone at lunch. i giggle.

posted by grace at 4:55 PM on 09/ 6/07
posted to cam

if cam wants to be mad at me because i stopped him from going back and yelling at a salesperson who had been (unintentionally) rude, fine. be mad. i'm not going to argue.

posted by grace at 8:57 PM on 08/25/07
posted to cam

"top gear" is now on bbc america. dammit. we've only tivo'd two eps so far and watched part of one, but already i am tired of jeremy clarkson.

posted by grace at 10:58 PM on 08/20/07
posted to cam | tv

when we got home, paul's little ikea plastic step-thing was in front of the kitchen sink. i don't know why.

when i went to wash the dishes post-dinner, i decided to use it instead of putting it away. (it reminded me of the little step we had at my parents' house. my aunt used it when she washed dishes. she's maybe 4'9"? i think i stopped using it when i turned 10.) holy crap. if that's what it's like being six inches taller, i'm glad i'm short. the sink looked so very far away. my back started to hurt.

scrub, scrub, scrub. ache, ache, ache.

then i heard footsteps. i jumped down and kicked the step-thing to the side... but i was too late. cam had already spotted me. he laughed. i felt sheepish.

cam: give little mommy a hug.
paul: little mommy!
me: feh.
me: stop calling me that.
cam: hey, i wouldn't have even noticed if you hadn't jumped and kicked the footstool.

little mommy: feh.

posted by grace at 10:14 PM on 08/20/07
posted to cam | mr. baby | stuff

we had another barbeque this evening -- tonight we had hot dogs, veggie skewers (i chopped up a lot of vegetables yesterday, obviously) and beer.

paul: [looking at his bottle of root beer] rinness.
me: we are SUCH bad role models.

it was kind of funny how we could all say we had hot dogs for dinner, yet no one ate the same thing as the person next to them (or across from them) -- i had a veggie dog in a regular bun, cam had a regular hot dog in a regular bun, paul had a regular hot dog wrapped in a corn tortilla. intolerances and preferences make for a short-order-cook kind of life sometimes.

the flies were all over us. (i had no idea flies liked beer.) but because we got started much earlier in the evening, we were able to be done by dark -- so at least we could see when the flies were on our plates, bottles, us, etc.

even though i really really wanted to go out to eat, i thought this was quite nice. i feel a little dumb that we're starting these "summer" activities so late in the season, but life in so cal means we don't need to stop once september is upon us.

posted by grace at 9:44 PM on 08/12/07
posted to cam | mr. baby

tonight we had a little barbeque, just the three of us and my mom. it was really nice, but we need to get more outdoor lighting -- the main source of light was a motion-sensitive one in front of my mom's house. whenever it went off, it was paul's job to run over to it so that it would go on again. eventually he decided cam should do it, but then i ended up taking over at the end. we also had candles on the table, but those were really, you know, just decorative.

paul, my mom and i ate veggie skewers. i also had a veggie burger. cam grilled chicken and a steak he tried to share with paul, but by the time those were done paul just wanted potato chips. there were beers for everyone -- except for my mom, who refused all forms -- newcastle for cam, guinness for me, and root for paul.

paul: [from inside my mom's house] mommy, come here.
me: let me just finish my beer.
me: [to my mom] wow, that sounded inappropriate, didn't it?
my mom: [laughing]

it was a lovely evening. we ought to do that sort of thing more often.

posted by grace at 11:40 PM on 08/11/07
posted to cam | mr. baby | optimism

cam: do you like mommy's haircut now?
paul: not yet!
me: thanks.
cam: do you like my haircut?
paul: yep.
cam: [laughs] you like it now?
paul: yes, it looks same.

posted by grace at 9:09 PM on 08/ 7/07
posted to cam | mr. baby

after dinner, cam said he'd do the dishes while i read paul his bedtime stories. i agreed to this, but when paul and cam ran off to play, i decided that i might as well just do the dishes since there weren't all that many of them.

gloves on, water pouring into the sink, i quickly washed most of the dishes. i was almost done when a pan slipped in the dishrack, alerting cam to the broken agreement. suddenly i heard tiny pounding footsteps.

paul: [fierce expression] stop doing the dishes!
paul: stop doing the dishes!
paul: daddy's gonna do the dishes!
me: [laughing]

paul ran away, but he was soon back with the same fierce look -- brows drawn together, eyes angry, mouth pouty.

paul: daddy frowned at you!

oh, the terror.

posted by grace at 8:44 PM on 08/ 5/07
posted to cam | mr. baby

cam: you think this looks like mommy?
paul: yes.

i had to investigate. they were looking at a poster of death of the endless (yes, cam does own such a poster).

me: thanks!

sweet paul. i wish i were that cute.

posted by grace at 9:06 PM on 08/ 3/07
posted to cam | mr. baby | overheard

made some surprisingly good corn fritters yesterday. quite filling. but by 9, i was hungry again. so was cam.

me: well, when it comes down to it, we all shared a can of corn.

posted by grace at 2:11 PM on 07/31/07
posted to cam

cam tells me that positive reinforcement never worked on him. only taking things away from him could force a reaction. according to cam's mom, paul is just like cam.

just great. you know, this is intel i could have used a VERY LONG TIME AGO. all that wasted positivity when negativity would have worked even better...

posted by grace at 10:37 PM on 07/29/07
posted to cam | mr. baby

the whining felt like it would never stop.

we made plans to go out to dinner, the three of us, but then paul whined so much cam called it off while we were in the driveway. (i was already buckled into the front seat.) paul agreed to eat corn, but then whined at me about the butter i put on it, so i had to wipe it off. (angrily.) i threw the knife into the sink. (noisily.) paul cried. i muttered to cam that i didn't mean to scare him, but cam wryly pointed out that paul was upset only because he thought i threw his corn away.

cam left to pick up dinner (and alcohol to deaden the rattled nerves). he called me to see how we were doing.

cam: is he behaving?
me: you could say that.
me: he's behaving like a little shit.

i tried to soothe myself by cleaning the refrigerator. after removing the bottom shelf and the attached drawers, i crouched down next to it in order to scrub the bottom. paul complained of the cold, but i insisted he stay near me where i could see him. his response was to try to close the door to push me inside the refrigerator.

once cam returned home, the rest of the evening passed fairly uneventfully.

i don't mean to be a grump -- i had actually had a pretty decent day at work. someone once told me that he felt that being a parent made him a better employee because he was now used to having to explain things over and over at home, so having to do so at work didn't faze him the way that it did prior to the birth of his son. my reply to that was being an employee made me a better parent because work had trained me to deal with people with multiple personalities. based on that, paul's total morph into mr. whiny shouldn't have been a problem, but i guess cam's bad mood (do i depend on him too much? i suspect i do) may have tipped the scales far enough in favor of my own morphing into bitch mom from hell. i dunno.

may tomorow be a better day.

posted by grace at 11:22 PM on 07/27/07
posted to cam | mr. baby

all i have to say is that cam ought to be really glad i love him because otherwise i would have had no problem ignoring the mess he caused when he left the goddamned freezer door OPEN all day. at least we only have a little top freezer compartment. but... we just went to the market last week. growl. paul's favorite waffles, my frozen edamame, the tiny stash of chicken i keep for paul's soup. the only thing salvageable were otter pops.

still, i know, it could have been far worse. if he had done that when i was pumping and freezing breastmilk, well, not only would that have been grounds for divorce, it would have been a motive for murder.

posted by grace at 8:29 PM on 07/25/07
posted to cam

last night paul and his father (or cam and his son) invented a new game that involved dumping almost 200 marbles on the floor -- hardwood floors -- and shouting "marble city!" they would then marvel at the random scattering of the "little people" all over the goddamned room. i could have cheerfully killed them both.

posted by grace at 7:09 AM on 07/18/07
posted to cam | mr. baby

i kept waking paul up with my snoring.
"stop that."
i'm sorry, was i snoring?
"uh-huh."
it happened like three times!

poor paul. poor me, too -- how many times in the past ten years have i nudged cam gently and then admonished him to shut the hell up?

posted by grace at 11:26 PM on 07/16/07
posted to cam | mr. baby

all started out well at the wedding cam and i attended last night.

we went from cocktail hour in a nice little indoor courtyardesque area with a fountain, a bar and bizarre stretchy black slipcovers turning ordinary bar tables into pillars to a brief yet sweet ceremony in a pretty garden with waterfalls and greenery -- to sped-up 80s hell in a dark ballroom decorated with white lilies, black linens, a dummy kneeling before a guillotine, a headless marie antoinette (foam head looking up, bewildered, from the floor) and a large toile screen depicting the storming of the bastille. (the screen was situated behind the dj table; a smaller version of it graced the front of said table.) it was a little bewildering, to say the least.

plus they had a really painfully bad dj with a michael jackson fixation.

that said, we had fun. i finally met some of cam's newer coworkers, had four strangely weak (yet impressive looking) gin & tonics, danced to new order and smiled at a wobbly-legged ten-month-old daughter of clown/juggler/magician/mime.

considering the bride and groom worked for the same company (which is owned by the bride's brother), i was surprised that it was more of a family party than a company one. i admit it, i was expecting a slightly sunnier version of the company christmas party. there were quite a few kids. one of cam's coworkers asked us why paul wasn't with us. i pictured paul screaming "too loud!" and was glad it hadn't occurred to me that we could bring him.

the bride tried to set up one of cam's coworkers with a friend of hers from the peace corps. we deemed her too sorority. i think she probably deemed him too geek.

we smoked too much and mocked lots of people. cam tried to convince people to watch "burn notice." i liked watching the kids dancing. cam's newly married boss looked really happy. when we left, the dj was spinning "don't stop believin'." it was like the end of sopranos, i think. when you think about my first impression of cam's boss' boss, it was an appropriate ending.

in the lobby, a kid hefted a headless dummy (sans guillotine) and grumbled, "jesus, this is heavy."

cam and i smoked and sang at the top of our lungs ("our volume is controlled by the volume of the radio," he pointed out) all the way home. it was sort of like being young again -- not that we're old, but, well, parenting kind of changes your idea of fun. we were planning to hit an arby's on the way home for potato cakes, but the local one was closed by the time we got there. oh well.

paul was awake when we got home. late naps mean late bedtime, unfortunately. i crashed in his room while trying to get him to go to sleep. thanks to a 2 am tylenol run, i woke up surprisingly hangover-free. good times. i let cam sleep in.

best wishes to the newlyweds and family. our thanks for a good party.

posted by grace at 8:37 PM on 07/15/07
posted to cam | stuff

the night before, i couldn't sleep. last night, i couldn't stay awake.

thanks for letting me sleep, my dear.

posted by grace at 12:08 PM on 07/13/07
posted to cam

i distinctly heard cam say, "blah blah blah" in his sleep.

posted by grace at 5:32 PM on 07/10/07
posted to cam

cam is lucky that my feelings of parenting inadequacy (meaning he seems to do the bulk of the childcare) keep me from getting on his case more about about cleaning up after himself.

posted by grace at 10:37 PM on 07/ 8/07
posted to cam

cam: nuts do bad things to the people i love.
cam: that's why nuts are not my friends.
paul: but pizza is your friend?

posted by grace at 10:19 PM on 07/ 8/07
posted to cam | mr. baby | overheard

tonight cam and i went to the geffen playhouse to see "george gershwin alone." we had decided to let our subscription lapse at the end of the season (for various reasons which may or may not become true after all), so it was our final play.

well. it was pretty nice and i was surprised how many gershwin songs i knew, but it all suddenly went nutty when it turned into a theaterwide SINGALONG. good freaking grief. not that i didn't like the songs, but lord. no wonder the average age of this evening's theatergoer was about 70.

it was still a nice night, though. started out crappy (lots of difficulties getting out of the house), but it improved rapidly. we went to the grove -- farmer's market, actually -- for dinner: moishe's and flavored cokes. yum. then we went shopping. wonder of wonders, i found not one but two dresses i liked. pretty, colorful and not too terribly pricey. cam bought them both. (later i teased him that he was so keen to buy them because he's got an iphone on the brain, but that's a story for another time.) the grove was ridiculously crowded, but being a saturday night i could hardly be surprised.

we got home fairly early and now i'm just sitting here while cam watches a csi: miami rerun i've already seen. paul is sleeping soundly. all i need is a drink to make this night complete.

posted by grace at 12:11 AM on 07/ 1/07
posted to cam

we got cam a mug for father's day. original, eh?

but it wasn't any ordinary mug -- it was the father's day 2007 special from cafepress, complete with a recent paul addition to our everyday vernacular (okay, maybe not everyday, but still). so cam's mug read:

the much:
greater than a few, less than the most
("it's when you have a lot of water," says paul)

happy father's day 2007

the idea, unfortunately, was stronger than the execution. it printed badly, but i figured, as long as it was legible, it would do. i decided this partially because i timed the order poorly. oh well. but cam was pleased with it, and ultimately, that's all that matters.

paul signed the card with his charmingly three-year-old writing. he messed up on his "u," laughed and wrote another one right by it. i loved that. no self-consciousness, no dismay, just "oops!" cam liked his card, too.

i was kind of embarrassed because i felt like we were less... gifty than we should have been, but the holiday kind of crept up on me. i swear, it wasn't on my calendar, and then holy shit, it's next week! i hate it when that happens.

posted by grace at 9:21 PM on 06/17/07
posted to cam | mr. baby

cam asked paul if he wanted a fish. paul said he already had one, but it was dead so that he could eat it. i looked up.

me: wait, you mean a pet?
cam: yeah, i saved the aquarium [from the junk haulers].
me: yeah, and when i heard about that i was surprised.
cam: oh...

cam then offered paul a fish again.
paul: then you can make it dead and eat it.
cam: no!
cam: i'm not going to get you a goldfish so you can make it dead and eat it!

i guess maybe he isn't ready for a pet fish.

posted by grace at 7:53 PM on 06/ 2/07
posted to cam | mr. baby

today we went outlet shopping in the city of commerce. because of paul's refusal to allow us to drive over a bridge, we ended up driving past downtown and then taking an unexpected detour back into downtown to change a tire.

while cam toiled in a taxi zone, i took paul on a walk.

paul: this is fun!
paul: i love taking a walk!

we walked down the hill on grand, turned right on fifth, down past the library tower and up the library steps to the fountain in front of mccormick & schmicks. cam wasn't done, so we went up to the mellon bank building and paul walked around on what he called his "very own sidewalks" (the ledges surrounding the water feature and various planters). we yelled down at cam from the patio outside my work.

who would have guessed a little walk downtown could be such fun?

posted by grace at 10:16 PM on 05/20/07
posted to cam | mr. baby

i'm glad i haven't really told very many people that cam and i are trying to have another baby. after our freakishly quick conception with paul, i think people would be all kinds of disappointed that i'm not pregnant yet. (it's been what, a month?) it's been a little weird, though, when i get asked every other day or so if we're planning to have any other children.

"we're still having that conversation!" i say brightly.

"horizontally," i think smirkily.

posted by grace at 7:52 PM on 05/16/07
posted to cam

every wednesday night, cam and i eat dinner together in front of the tv before he goes to get paul from his parents' house. sure, we watch tv all week, but wednesday nights belong to horatio caine.

well, the tv finally sizzled and broke after promising to do so for months. after we finished eating, cam checked the sunday sale papers and looked at tv prices online.

me: we finally have the chance to talk.
me: but instead of watching tv, you're looking at tvs.
cam: [distracted chuckle]

it was pretty sad.

posted by grace at 8:48 PM on 04/25/07
posted to cam

i am not a fan of zoo pals disposable plates. not that i have a problem with disposable plates -- they're useful things -- but i just don't think they're cute. plus i hate the commercial... that damned earworm of a song.... ugh! (i do not like "ribbet.") cam likes it, and seems to make a point of singing along when it's on.

yesterday paul and i were watching tv sans cam. as the familiar music began to play, paul chuckled to himself.
paul: that's my dad's favorite song.

good god. that's not the man i married.

posted by grace at 10:13 PM on 04/22/07
posted to cam | mr. baby | tv

cam got a haircut. paul's initial reaction was less than favorable.

paul: aahh! [pointing]
cam: you don't like my haircut?
paul: i thought you were a different guy.

he has since come around, but he was pretty grumpy about it for a few days (even shooting cam with the "long hair gun"). i've been thinking about cutting my own hair, but i fear that his reaction will be even more violent.

posted by grace at 9:19 PM on 04/19/07
posted to cam | mr. baby

we were watching one of cam's muppet show dvds the other night. cam wanted to show paul something but wasn't quite sure where to find it. never having been much of a fan, i was glazing over as the colorful furry things traded quips and one-liners.

suddenly there was a ballroom full of dancing muppets. wisecracking pairs swooped in and out of view. a male puppet said to a female puppet, "do you know anything about the hereafter?" she responded in the affirmative. he replied, "then you know what i'm here after."

a few minutes later we found ourselves watching a high-heeled rita moreno beat up a man-sized puppet in a beret, a tight top, and a skirt slit to the waist. she alternately drank, danced and slugged with equal enthusiasm.

that muppet show. so saucy. THIS was family programming?

posted by grace at 10:27 PM on 04/ 4/07
posted to cam | tv

sometimes i wonder how we sound to other people.

my mom: it was the monkey's birthday.
me: what?!
me: what monkey?
my mom: [patiently] it was the monkey's birthday.
my mom: on dora.
my mom: that's why paul wanted a pinata.
me: oh, you mean boots.
my mom: yeah.

me: my mom said, "it's the monkey's birthday" and i was so confused!
me: i was all, "monkey? what monkey?"
cam: so... you find her as hard to understand sometimes as i do.
me: yeah, but it's what she's saying, not the way she talks!

posted by grace at 7:13 AM on 04/ 4/07
posted to cam

cam: i knew this day would come...
cam: i just didn't expect it to happen when he was three.
cam: i thought i'd have more time -- a few years -- before he'd beat me at a video game.

paul is phenomenally good at wii sports bowling.

cam: hey, you're better left-handed than i am... [quietly] right-handed.

posted by grace at 7:47 PM on 04/ 1/07
posted to cam | mr. baby

i say: i need to do the dishes, but i'm so sleepy.

what he says: don't worry about the dishes.

what i think he's thinking: don't worry about the dishes, i'll do them.

what he's really thinking: i would like to help you with the dishes, but i am going to forget about this conversation as soon as i walk out this door.

what happens: don't worry about the dishes, they'll still be here when you wake up.

posted by grace at 9:50 PM on 03/26/07
posted to cam

paul: i want tylenol, too!
cam: are you sick?
paul: i'm still a little sick.
paul: i have THOSE hiccups.
cam: THOSE hiccups? [laughing]
cam: you don't need tylenol for that.
cam: you can just have water for THOSE hiccups.

posted by grace at 8:35 PM on 03/25/07
posted to cam | mr. baby | overheard

paul: we have a new rule.
paul: you have to take care of mommy.
cam: that's a good rule.
cam: you have a loving son.

posted by grace at 6:39 PM on 03/24/07
posted to cam | mr. baby

paul: here comes trouble.
cam: are you trouble?
paul: [seriously] no.

posted by grace at 8:23 PM on 03/20/07
posted to cam | mr. baby | overheard

me: you just never know when you're going to need some decoupage medium.
cam: [silence]
cam: yeah, you just never know.
me: why are you looking at me like that?
cam: [laughing] because i know you aren't really serious...
cam: ...or i'd have to divorce you.

posted by grace at 9:01 PM on 02/26/07
posted to cam

just got back from a night out -- dinner at earth, wind & flour (bad name, but yummy spinach salad) and "speed-the-plow" at the geffen. dinner was very nice. the play, meh. i know it's supposed to be satirical and snappy, but i was unmoved. too much yelling. far too much. theater is supposed to be yelly, sure, but this was ridiculous. still, though, we had a nice evening.

we almost didn't go. my mom was going to watch paul, but when we came home from work yesterday, she looked and sounded like crap. (and this is after she had a super-abbreviated week -- she was too sick to watch him on tuesday -- poor mom.) cam called his mom and sister (his dad wasn't going to be home) and offered them the tickets. his sister wasn't interested, so his mom was going to see if a friend would want to go with her. we ended that night thinking we weren't going to go.

the next day, we learned that his mom's friend couldn't make it. hm. cam's mom agreed to watch paul, and so we were back on. we made better time than we expected, so we were able to eat at a restaurant. yay! (don't laugh, we've had at least one last-minute meal via the in'n'out drive-thru before. how romantic.) we used to eat at earth, wind & flour fairly often, but we haven't been there in years so it was cool to go there again. (we had actually been contemplating another restaurant, but... it partially didn't sound appealing to me because i couldn't remember the name of it!) it looked exactly the same except for the very large tvs mounted on the walls. but interestingly enough, it seemed to me like no one was watching them. they were just sort of there.

after the play -- we practically ran out once the lights went back on; for once we didn't have to wait in line to get out of the parking garage -- we stopped at ralphs for milk (we were out) and then cam dropped me off at home on his way to pick up paul.

i really do enjoy these evenings out with cam. i was pretty damned grumpy when i thought we weren't going. then once we were actually heading to westwood, i was feeling rather grumpy because i thought cam didn't want to go -- but he cleared that up and we bought doughnuts to eat on the way. life is always shinier and happier with doughnuts.

posted by grace at 11:15 PM on 02/24/07
posted to cam | stuff

this is kind of a big deal for me. i know it's going to sound pretty dumb, but i'm rather proud of myself. i built a trebuchet (tinkertoys) on a rolling platform (a shallow flat box with matchbox cars taped to the bottom) with a quick release (more tinkertoys plus string). it throws a projectile (clay on a short length of knotted string) all the way across the living room. cam and paul have been building trebuchets for a while now, but this is my first attempt.

it was all trial and error. after the structure tipped over a few times, i came up with the rolling platform, sort of modeled after all of those damned trebuchet games online paul has been making me find. the quick-release gadget was something i had come up with the night before (making a small barrel fall from a hook by yanking on a string), but i was able to adapt it to fit my trebuchet with great success.

as i was working, i alternately grinned and frowned at myself. maybe paul, cam and the constant construction have rubbed off on me. i may not be much of a homemaker, but i'm apparently quite deadly with siege weapons.

posted by grace at 8:18 PM on 02/19/07
posted to cam | mr. baby

cam and paul are launching bits of clay across the living room with the tinkertoy trebuchet they just built. cam is rather pleased with himself. paul is just pleased, period. predictably, i do not really share their joy in this new invention. if i find smushed clay on the couch, i will confiscate both the trebuchet and the ammunition.

yes, i AM bad cop.

posted by grace at 8:10 PM on 02/12/07
posted to cam | mr. baby

cam has decided that anthony field is "the epitome of drumming" and that HE should be crowded house's new drummer.

cam: imagine him in his blue wiggle suit... [laughing]

how many times can i say nonononononoNO?

posted by grace at 12:06 PM on 02/ 6/07
posted to cam

me: [holding up an elfa planner from container store] i took this with me into the kitchen because i meant to read it while i ate.
me: but i got distracted by penny arcade again.
me: i didn't even look at this thing.
cam: that's why you're my wife.

carrot cake soup, anyone?

posted by grace at 12:01 PM on 02/ 6/07
posted to cam

apparently i was delirious (at least to some extent).

actually it was the other way around
his desire to play the song prompted me to buy it
he wanted me to bring the ps2, a tv, and the game into his room
i told him i couldn't
then i asked him if i could put it on my ipod
he said no
then i just played some song and he played along
but then i told him "hold on," went and bought the song, and fired up the camera

posted by grace at 4:30 PM on 01/29/07
posted to cam | mr. baby

a story from cam:

so... paul wanted some raspberry gum
he liked it
and i kept reminding him "okay. don't swallow. just chew"
so then i said "are you ready to spit it out?"
"i can't. it's in my stomach"

posted by grace at 12:44 PM on 01/22/07
posted to cam | mr. baby

guitar hero 2 won the battle for cam's affections tonight. oh well.

cam: there's going to be an '80s guitar hero!
cam: and i've got to get guitar hero i, too.
me: i didn't expect you to enjoy this game so much.
cam: i love it.
me: there should be a carlos santana guitar hero.
cam: that would be insane.

there is music being played in this house that has never been played before, and i can't necessarily say that i am enjoying it.

posted by grace at 12:54 AM on 01/13/07
posted to cam

happy birthday, dearest. glad you liked your presents. now that i have in my possession all kinds of geek points (although i am certain that you have more...), is there anything you want off the rewards list?

posted by grace at 12:43 PM on 01/11/07
posted to cam

and guess what
the p
back on monday!
yay!
4-7

i suppose this would be a fairly cryptic message if i didn't know who this "the p" might be and why his return might inspire joy. but... 4-7? you mean i have to listen to him on the way home now?

posted by grace at 3:42 PM on 01/ 5/07
posted to cam

my mom called to tell me paul was not reacting well to the change in milk brands. apparently he had thrown the bottle at her and said, "i don't like this milk. i want the REGULAR one."

me: cam, he's being a little shit.
cam: yeah... but at least we're not home.

posted by grace at 4:32 PM on 01/ 4/07
posted to cam | mr. baby

cam: paul.
cam: no. no.
cam: what part of "no" do you not understand?

posted by grace at 7:29 AM on 01/ 3/07
posted to cam

spent new year's afternoon with my in-laws. it was a nice afternoon. lots of food, lots of talk. but i think i'll remember it as the day that cam abandoned me to play mario kart with his sister for ages. it was totally funny to see them sitting on opposite sides of the couch -- cam with his ds and his sister with her ds lite -- looking silently intense with occasional outbursts of joy and frustration.

posted by grace at 9:37 PM on 01/ 1/07
posted to cam

paul: i am not good at guitar hero.
paul: you are good at it because you always win.
paul: and i don't win.
cam: that's okay.
cam: it is a big game for you.
cam: i think it is at least 8 and up.
cam: and you are only 3.

posted by grace at 9:02 PM on 01/ 1/07
posted to cam | mr. baby | overheard

cam's sister recently showed paul part of "the sound of music" (the lonely goatherd song). then she accidentally deleted her tivo'd copy. we happened to be near best buy yesterday, so we picked up the dvd.

paul really likes it, but i don't think he could watch it from beginning to end at this point. cam has never actually seen the movie before, but he was surprised to see how many songs he knew.

cam: i knew it was rodgers and hammerstein...
me: um, yeah, because that's something all guys know.

it's such a charming movie. i have a soft spot for the goatherder song because of an aphio talent show back in college, so it's kind of sweet to have that memory brought back to me.

posted by grace at 8:48 PM on 01/ 1/07
posted to cam | mr. baby | stuff

paul was eating a salad.

cam: what's your favorite vegetable?
paul: [holds up a mushroom]
cam: what is your favorite fruit?
paul: [holds up a tomato]
cam: yeah, a tomato?
cam: how did you know that a tomato was a fruit?
paul: because it has seeds.

posted by grace at 8:30 PM on 01/ 1/07
posted to cam | mr. baby

cam has made sushi ("shushis," says paul) twice this weekend: avocado, zucchini, cucumber and rice rolls. yum.

posted by grace at 7:17 PM on 01/ 1/07
posted to cam

thought i heard paul crying, so i got up and ran to his room. he wasn't crying, he hadn't even moved from the position he was in when i was last in his room. nope, that odd slightly whiny sound was cam snoring. har!

posted by grace at 1:00 AM on 01/ 1/07
posted to cam

cam woke up screamingly angry in the middle of the night. he had had a dream that so infuriated him he needed to get up and have a smoke.

apparently he had dreamt that i had been laid off because a new higher-up had decided to cut costs by getting rid of people. there was a meeting scheduled for myself, my boss and my boss' old boss (she recently retired), and for some reason cam was there. they claimed that it wouldn't take long for the higher-up to realize they needed me, so they were pretty sure they'd be able rehire me. cam let them have it. he was cussing them up and down the street. "you're getting rid of her," he raged, "to save half the cost of a first-year associate!" as he was telling me about this, in my half-awake state all i could think was "they are going to call the police." eventually dream-cam told dream-grace to give notice and quit before i could get laid off. then he grabbed my hand and we got the hell out of dodge.

he was most awesome in his fierceness, but good lord, i'm not sure that's the way to deal with bad work news. serves him right he couldn't fall back asleep after a dream like that.

posted by grace at 12:24 AM on 01/ 1/07
posted to cam

went to lunch at tokyo wako in long beach today for a belated birthday lunch (cam's dad and uncle). usually the birthday lunches (and father's day lunches) are held at benihana in torrance because cam's dad loves the place. i haven't been to one since paul was born because, well, it's a little too dangerous for a toddler and the chance for cross-contamination is just far too great. this time we just decided to brave it because cam was able to confirm that there would be something for paul to eat, even though this, too, was a teppan steak house.

before lunch we stopped by the aquarium of the pacific (me: look, it's the aquarium of the atlantic!) because it was in the same area as the restaurant. paul seemed to enjoy the short visit, even though it was really crowded.

me: i think it was so packed with little kids because they were all too young to want to go somewhere fun like an amusement park.
me: did you notice how there weren't any bigger kids there?

paul didn't care for the little movie/documentary thing they started playing at about a quarter to twelve, but that was good timing because it was time for us to head over to the restaurant.

paul: i want to go someplace quiet.

lunch went pretty well. we had a private room and the table area was quite roomy. paul, unfortunately, decided at the first blast of fire that THIS WAS A VERY BAD PLACE and i spent the first half of my time there walking around with him in my arms.

paul: i want to go someplace where i won't be so warm.

we ended up at the restrooms.
me: this [pointing] is the women's restroom.
me: that [pointing] is the men's restroom.
paul: [pointing at the standard "men" sign] what does this say?
me: spell it.
paul: m-e-n
me: what does that say?
paul: men's restrooms.
me: not quite, but good try.

i swung him over in front of a private room.
me: look!
me: wrong room!

then i brought him back to our room.
me: look!
me: right room!
paul: let's do that again.
paul: let's go to the restrooms, the wrong room and the right room.
me: i knew i shouldn't have started this.

we had to go through the routine three more times.

after lunch, we walked around a little and looked at pirate ships. i think one of them might have been from a pirates of the caribbean movie. we played some running around games with paul on the scary, scary lacking-railings pier (cam: it's funny how we're so obviously afraid to let him even ten feet out of our reach), then, at his behest, took the free bus back to the aquarium parking structure.

cam dropped my mom and myself off at home, grabbed guitar hero 2 (and guitar) and took paul to his grandparents' house. my mom and i went shopping.

it was a nice way to spend a day, i think. lowkey.

posted by grace at 7:03 PM on 12/30/06
posted to cam | mr. baby | stuff

we are always in a quiet war over the dishes. i don't mind doing them, honestly. there really is something kind of pleasing about dishwashing. turning a sinkful of used plates and utensils into a clean, shiny and empty sink and a dishdrainer loaded with sparkling items (presto!) is quite nice. it's not something i necessarily want to do, but the accomplishment aspect is something i can appreciate.

but when cam says he's going to do the dishes, he wants to do the dishes. okay, fine. but when he wants to do the dishes, he wants to do them on his own time. um, no, that's not so fine.

me: when you say you'll do the dishes, you have to remember something.
cam: what?
me: you're not just working on your own timeline.
me: you also have to deal with mine.

when cam and i lived in apartments, we often had mold problems because the dishes would sit. it was gross, but in a way it didn't matter too much because, well, we were renting. in our house, i don't. want. mold.

i've been feeling guilty over my mom doing the dishes, so i now try harder to get them done before bed. part of me thinks this sucks because i also cook (sometimes), but eh, it's got to get done. unfortunately, recently i had to tell cam that i had to take a break from the dishes for a while because my eczema was coming back. he swore he'd take over.

last tuesday he told me he'd do the dishes. he didn't get to them that night, so he told me he'd do them on wednesday because he would be working from home. when he picked me up from work, he admitted he had not yet done them and warned me away. we ate dinner before picking up paul from his parents' house. when he went to go do the dishes, they were already done.

me: mom, did you do the dishes?
my mom: yes.
me: you have to stop that.
my mom: huh?
me: cam was supposed to do them.
me: you are undermining my authority.
my mom: i am? [laughing]
me: when i was younger, you always said that i should never start doing things for a man that i didn't want to have to be doing my whole life.
my mom: i did?
me: so if cam is going to help out around here by doing the dishes, he needs to do the dishes.
me: you can't do them for him.
me: [laughing] you are interfering in my marriage.
my mom: [looking sheepish]

me: cam, apparently you don't just need to deal with my timeline.
me: you need to deal with my mom's.

so this week came around and cam had a pile of dishes again. walking into the kitchen, he saw my mom already there.

cam: you didn't do the dishes, did you?
my mom: no, i got a lecture the last time.
me: exaggerators! i live with exaggerators!

well, maybe i did lecture her... but at least cam took care of the dishes.

posted by grace at 12:03 AM on 12/30/06
posted to cam

cam, paul and his dad went to the griffith observatory today. i don't have really any idea what they saw, but judging by how little paul has to say about it, i'm not sure he has much idea, either. all i can tell was that they saw a tesla coil, a pendulum, a planetarium show that scared paul (you know, the big bang and all), and my office.

charmingly enough, the most excitement i saw from paul was when he woke up and realized i was in the car next to him. he waved.

posted by grace at 7:52 PM on 12/28/06
posted to cam | mr. baby

yesterday was cam's first day of vacation -- his company shuts down the week between christmas and new year's -- and paul had him so beat down by the time they picked me up from work it was not even funny. okay, well, it was a little funny.

in the car on the way home, cam frantically tried to keep paul awake (because, as all parents of young children know, a poorly-timed nap means DISASTER! and AGONY!) and his efforts were a little scary to behold. he tried to get paul to look at things outside, he made random sounds, he goggled his eyes, etc. etc. etc. luckily paul didn't fall asleep because i think cam would have crashed the car right then and there out of despair.

as expected, the house was a minor shambles (cam: you should have seen the kitchen before). i cleaned up and made soup for paul while cam went out to grab dinner and some much-needed distance. the rest of the evening was rather uneventful.

we all retreated to the bedroom -- paul decided he was sleeping in our room again -- by 8:30. cam claimed he wasn't going to sleep, but he was out before the rest of us. poor thing. i know i'd have a really hard time as a stay-at-home mom, but i think the chances of cam surviving the sahd life are even slimmer.

posted by grace at 7:44 AM on 12/27/06
posted to cam

cam -- bless his warm little tech heart -- bought me a palm t/x to replace the deceased visor. i can't wait to get it all set up.

posted by grace at 12:38 PM on 12/26/06
posted to cam

i must revise my earlier comment: cam playing guitar hero 2 with paul at his feet playing his "electronic music mat" while singing the abcs: that might have to be the silliest thing ever seen.

posted by grace at 7:29 PM on 12/25/06
posted to cam | mr. baby

cam is playing guitar hero 2. (the game and the wireless guitar were on his wishlist. how could i refuse?) it is one of the silliest things i've ever seen.

posted by grace at 10:33 AM on 12/25/06
posted to cam

paul and cam were talking about a game in the car the other day.

paul: you have to pick up bugs with tweezers.
cam: i remember that game!
cam: did grandpa fix it?
paul: yes.
paul: grandpa fixed it.
paul: it vibrates!
cam: did you play it?
paul: yes, but...
paul: [sadly] i am not very good at it.
cam: i wasn't very good at it, either.

it's kind of stupid because paul has been talking for quite a while now, but i can't help but be a little astonished when i hear him having real conversations.

posted by grace at 6:01 PM on 12/13/06
posted to cam | mr. baby

cam insists that paul's version of foosball is spelled "fœsball."

posted by grace at 1:12 PM on 12/ 8/06
posted to cam

last night i had a migraine. it dulled down for a bit, so i cooked dinner and then promptly felt worse. i went to bed ridiculously early. sweet cam took care of paul.

this morning i felt kind of better -- until i realized that paul (who had slept next to me) had wet everything within wetting distance: his clothes, the sheet, the pillowcases, the pillows, the comforter, the duvet cover, the mattress pad, my shirt.

paul: [crying] i just peed everywhere.
me: that you did.

the house was a mess. plates from dinner were still out on the counter, toys were all over the floor, stuff was just lying in messy heaps. it was like that commercial for cold medicine (i think it was for cold medicine) where the mom is sick and she has to kick stuff out of the way just to get down the hallway. i sighed.

but -- in the grand scheme of things, it's absolutely no big deal. paul was happy (once he was dry), he and cam had a pretty good time, i got some sleep, and the damage to the house is minimal.

i thank you, hon, for being a good sport. you're the best.

posted by grace at 7:11 AM on 11/29/06
posted to cam

after almost a full day of toil, the sod is now in place. it looks great. it's green and lush. i don't know how long it will stay this way, so i better enjoy it while i can.

yesterday we worked our asses off on this damned patch of ground. after months in the making, we finally have a lawn. early morning a truck pulled up around the corner, and a little forklift delivered a pallet and a half of sod (marathon 2) in front of our garage. pretty quickly we got a rhythm going. my uncle brought pieces of sod up the first set of steps and stacked it up in neat piles. cam used the wheelbarrow to transport sod to the backyard. cam's dad and i then laid the sod on the ground. after a while, cam's dad had to stop, so i worked alone. cam's parents eventually took paul away with them to their house because he was less than happy with everyone for being more interested in the grass than in him. cam's dad came back, eventually, but we were mostly done putting down the sod by then. he used the rented roller to flatten the sod while we fit in the last pieces like a puzzle.

when cam went to get the roller, i put down the sod by myself. my mother watched and helped a bit by wetting down the ground before i placed the sod. my uncle was impressed.

him: i would have never thought any of my nieces would do anything like this.
my mom: nope, only grace.
me: [thinking] that's just because the rest of them are still living the early-twentysomething life.

we worked all day. after cam's dad went home, we cleaned ourselves up. by the time i got out of the shower, cam was asleep.

today my hands are stiff and my legs are sore. i fear what the rest of the week will bring in terms of pain. i know it'll be bad, but when i look at the backyard, i get the feeling that it might almost be worth it.

posted by grace at 9:44 PM on 11/26/06
posted to cam | ponce de leon

i asked cam if he had read up on sod installation. he looked a little sheepish, but then he looked crafty -- he decided to appeal to what he perceived to be my improvisational flair.

cam: i work on home improvement stuff the way you cook.
me: you mean half-assed?
me: i didn't realize i gave you food that was 85% finished.
cam: feh on you.

posted by grace at 1:06 PM on 11/24/06
posted to cam

poor cam is stuck in traffic. he has now been driving for about an hour and a half.

the traffic has been bad all week. it's kind of amazing. each day we rationalize the congestion by saying that people are leaving town for the holidays. BUT -- how can so many people leave town and yet still manage to CLOG the roads? i never knew there were this many people in la.

posted by grace at 4:48 PM on 11/22/06
posted to cam

we went a-wii hunting this morning -- and brought home diaper genie refills and a new toothbrush instead. poor cam. at least his sister got one.

posted by grace at 8:24 PM on 11/19/06
posted to cam

sneak king (not sneaKing as i had thought it was called) has been a great success in our house. so bizarre. so simple. so silly. so inexpensive. cam has managed to crash it once, and that only brought chuckles.

cam: it's been a long time since i was able to do that.

paul is charmed by the game, which is funny because i thought that the king might freak him out a little.

paul: [hand over his head] hungry!
paul: i'm hungry!
cam: [sneaking up behind him]
cam: [tapping his shoulder]
cam: [dancing]
cam: [pretending to hand him a sandwich]

this game is quirky and that's exactly what cam likes. my gamer is no fps guy.