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January 29, 2007

only in my dreams

i haven't thought about fairy tales in a long time -- paul just isn't into that kind of story. sunday morning i woke up, baffled.

hansel and gretel were trying to get free from what looked suspiciously like sawyer and kate's cages on lost.

hansel: this is fruitless.
hansel: let's just stay here.
hansel: i'll marry you.
gretel: marry me?
gretel: we can't get married.
gretel: we're brother and sister -- that would be incestuous.
hansel: right.
hansel: carry on, then.

January 1, 2007

paul tells a story

when i was a younger baby in japan, i'd hear this song: hee hee hee, hee hee hee, hee hee hee.

paul has never been to japan, and i'm not sure where this song came from.

December 27, 2006

babytalk

once upon a time paul came to work to see ____ and ____'s baby.

the baby said, "ba-ba-ba-ba-ba."

paul said, "what?"

the baby said again, "ba-ba-ba-ba-ba."

paul said again, "what?"

so mommy said, "ba-ba-ba-ba-ba means bottle."

paul laughed. "ba-ba-ba-ba-ba doesn't mean anything!" he said.

the end.

November 4, 2006

unpleasant odor

once upon a time there was a paul.
paul said to mommy, "you want to smell butt?"
the end.

auntie's favorite story

once upon a time there was a tree.
a guy cut it down.
the end.

November 3, 2006

paul's idea of a story

once upon a time.
duh.
the end.

cam's idea of a story

once upon a time.
the end.

October 7, 2006

direct from chuck e. cheese

once upon a time, mommy and mommy's brother were playing air hockey.
mommy's brother hit the puck so hard it flew off the table and hit a little kid in the head!
mommy's brother said, "uh oh."
the end.

September 4, 2006

mommy decrees

once upon a time there were two soft things named charles and boo boo.
charles said, "i want to stay up."
boo boo said, "i want to go to sleep."
charles said, "no, i want to stay up."
mommy said, "shhh! it's time to go to sleep."
boo boo said, "ha! told you."
the end.

August 27, 2006

arachnophobia

once upon a time there were two soft things named charles and boo boo.
charles and boo said, "we don't like spiders!"
paul said, "i like spiders."
charles and boo said, "yucky!"
paul said, "i have a spider."
charles and boo boo said, "where?"
paul said, "right there! on my spider light."
charles said, "eeee!"
boo boo said, "eeee!"
paul said, "sillies! it's plastic!"
the end.

paul: more. again. the same one.

August 26, 2006

boringly bedtime

once upon a time there were two soft things named charles and boo boo.
charles and mommy are going to sleep.
good night.
the end.

paul: [outraged] that's not a story! AT ALL!

August 24, 2006

driver

once upon a time there were two soft things named charles and boo boo.
charles said, "i'm going to drive the car."
paul said, "no, daddy is going to drive the car."
boo boo said, "no, i'm going to drive the car.
but daddy said, "no, I'M going to drive the car."
so everyone got all strapped into their seats and daddy drove the car. they all had a very nice time, indeed.
the end.

fruit salad

once upon a time there were two soft things named charles and boo boo.
charles said, "i like apples."
boo boo said, "i like bananas."
paul said, "i like papaya."
so charles said, "why don't we make a fruit salad?" boo boo and paul agreed this was a good idea. they mixed all their fruit together and made a lovely fruit salad.
the end.

August 18, 2006

my two babies

paul told me last night that he didn't like charles, but this morning he wanted to bring both charles and boo boo to his grandparents' house. i think the tide turned after i told paul many many stories (more than i wanted to tell) last night about them. to celebrate his change of opinion, i told him one more as i got him dressed.

me: once upon a time there were two soft things named boo boo and charles.
me: paul said, "i want you two to come with me to aunty, gramma, grampa."
me: so the three of them went and had a very good day.
me: the end.
paul: that's a good story.

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