low foot clearance

was sitting at my mom's house watching tv the other night, and was somewhat mesmerized by a commercial fearing a funny little pan for "pancake puffs."

oh sure, aebleskiver, i thought, remembering those funny little dutch pancakes you can buy at the farmer's market. always meant to try them. the ones you could make in the little pan on tv looked okay, and it was amusing to think that the cost included a hundred "pancake turners," which looked pretty much like short skewers.

but then it turned ugly.

the set included a syringe-thing for injecting the puffs with puddings, jams and such sticky sweets. okay, so maybe one might have a fondness for cream puffs and jelly doughnuts. that seems reasonable enough. but then they started showing these puffs filled with MEAT. (i don't think meatballs fit in a syringe.) make mini pepperoni pizza puffs, they declared! make tiny meatball subs! make wee pigs in blankets! it was pretty gross.

explaining to paul about "finger foods" was also pretty gross. "no, sweetie, finger foods are just things you can eat with your hands. they aren't shaped like fingers or made of fingers."

how could paul have reached the age of four without ever hearing about finger foods? i understand why he's not familiar with aebleskiver, but finger foods?

posted by grace at 8:41 AM on 02/ 4/08
posted to tv

it's funny to see that matt rogers has a job NOT singing. we happened to catch a little bit of "really big things" on the discovery channel, and i was all, "hey! hey! it's that guy!" cam was puzzled because he thought the bre pettis-looking guy was the host, but turns out he was thinking of "build it bigger" instead. what is this fascination with size? (note that these shows are hosted by men.) i would like to see a show about tiny things. like pies.

posted by grace at 9:35 PM on 08/25/07
posted to tv

we stayed up far too late the other night getting caught up on "trapped in the closet" on the independent film channel site. (they didn't have chapters 21 and 22 up when we checked, so we still have those to watch.) that is some utterly bizarre shit. this is proof that anything can be sung. cam seems to think that this is the greatest thing ever, but i am not so sure.

posted by grace at 12:18 PM on 08/22/07
posted to tv

"top gear" is now on bbc america. dammit. we've only tivo'd two eps so far and watched part of one, but already i am tired of jeremy clarkson.

posted by grace at 10:58 PM on 08/20/07
posted to cam | tv

looking for more mythbusters shirts on cafepress for paul, i was distressed to see that no one had made either a "i [heart] grant" or "i [heart] tory" shirt. uncool. i would so wear a shirt with grant's name on it. in fact, if i would make one myself! cam suggested "i [heart] grant (and his new teeth)," but that strikes me as a little mean...

posted by grace at 4:31 PM on 08/12/07
posted to tv

i know paul loves her and all, but my god, i am so absolutely tired of kari byron.

posted by grace at 12:25 PM on 08/ 9/07
posted to mr. baby | tv

i think the newest tv crush would have to be jeffrey donovan. i didn't like him initially as ivers on crossing jordan, but i loved him in his last episode. thought he was highly sexy as a criminal on csi: miami. just saw that he's got a new show -- saw a tiny pic of him in the la times. i asked cam to tivo the rerun of the pilot on monday. yay!

posted by grace at 1:22 AM on 07/ 1/07
posted to tv

good lord. the season finales for numb3rs and instant star got me all het up.

colby, a spy for the chinese? sweet charmingly cornfed colby? colby, a mole?

jamie or tommy, tommy or jamie ... wait! who the hell did jude pick? argh! i swear, if jude picked jamie (as adorable as he is), i am not watching instant star anymore.

ugh. it shames me how invested i am in television these days.

posted by grace at 8:12 PM on 05/20/07
posted to tv

just finished watching jordan. aw. i feel kind of schmoopy.

posted by grace at 10:46 PM on 05/16/07
posted to tv

i'm kind of nervous. it's the last episode of crossing jordan. ever. sniffle.

you know, i've been an on-again, off-again fan for years, but i sort of became entangled again over the past year. i was originally a big jordan-woody shipper, but as i saw all kinds of eps i hadn't seen before, i realized that they've been doing this dance for so long that it was getting old. i realized that i kind of liked devon and woody together. (kind of. wasn't so keen on woody and lu, though.) jordan and j.d. were actually a pretty hot couple. hell, i even liked the idea of jordan and ivers. as the series draws to a close, i see we're being set up for a jordan-woody-4evah sort of thing, which is nice, sure, but it's a little bittersweet because tptb should have given that to us YEARS AGO.

i'm happy with the resolution we got for bug and lily last week, though. i think that was done in a very cute fashion. i have always held out for bug's happiness.

i tried to convince cam that nigel and garret were good boy names. no dice.

when paul goes to sleep tonight, if it isn't too late, maybe cam and i can watch the show together. he hasn't watched/cared as much as me (his tim kring love is for heroes and none other), but he does seem to have a soft spot for the show -- at least enough to want to see how it ends.

posted by grace at 9:00 PM on 05/16/07
posted to tv

my mom is all grumpy because i just told her melinda got voted off american idol.

my mom: oh no!
my mom: i don't want that guy to win.
me: well, maybe jordin will win?
my mom: [sourly] i don't even want to watch now.
me: [laughing silently]

i think i might have to vote next week.

posted by grace at 8:20 PM on 05/16/07
posted to tv

i recently succumbed to the notion of liking calleigh and delko together. been hanging out at "shipper central" on a csi fansite. damn. those people are fanatical. every possible pairing is explored in detail. supporting quotes are given. lists of episodes with suggestive scenes are collected. scenes are taken out of context to be compiled into dreamy-eyed little videos with music to match. it's insane, but kind of fun.

posted by grace at 12:12 PM on 05/11/07
posted to obsessions | tv

i am not a fan of zoo pals disposable plates. not that i have a problem with disposable plates -- they're useful things -- but i just don't think they're cute. plus i hate the commercial... that damned earworm of a song.... ugh! (i do not like "ribbet.") cam likes it, and seems to make a point of singing along when it's on.

yesterday paul and i were watching tv sans cam. as the familiar music began to play, paul chuckled to himself.
paul: that's my dad's favorite song.

good god. that's not the man i married.

posted by grace at 10:13 PM on 04/22/07
posted to cam | mr. baby | tv

chris noth and jill hennessy are totally hot together -- well, at least they were in those two eps of crossing jordan back in season one. whew. were they on law & order at the same time? if so, honestly, that might be a reason to revisit l&o. (and if claire kincaid never happened, and cj got cancelled, i'd go back to l&o: ci if they made her logan's new partner... dare to dream, eh?)

posted by grace at 7:09 PM on 04/ 8/07
posted to tv

we were watching one of cam's muppet show dvds the other night. cam wanted to show paul something but wasn't quite sure where to find it. never having been much of a fan, i was glazing over as the colorful furry things traded quips and one-liners.

suddenly there was a ballroom full of dancing muppets. wisecracking pairs swooped in and out of view. a male puppet said to a female puppet, "do you know anything about the hereafter?" she responded in the affirmative. he replied, "then you know what i'm here after."

a few minutes later we found ourselves watching a high-heeled rita moreno beat up a man-sized puppet in a beret, a tight top, and a skirt slit to the waist. she alternately drank, danced and slugged with equal enthusiasm.

that muppet show. so saucy. THIS was family programming?

posted by grace at 10:27 PM on 04/ 4/07
posted to cam | tv

elaine: jordan's gay?
nigel: well, i'm not sure, but it would explain a lot.
bug: but she's had boyfriends, hasn't she?
nigel: it's called bisexual, luv.
bug: don't say 'bisexual love' to me.

posted by grace at 7:50 PM on 03/30/07
posted to tv

i feel so disillusioned. i know tv shows rarely shoot where they're supposed to be located, but i just saw woody and jordan walking downtown. MY downtown. MY downtown is NOT boston. sure, i know long beach is NOT miami, but...

cam laughed when i told him.

posted by grace at 7:27 PM on 03/30/07
posted to tv

good lord, i've been watching crossing jordan so long with the sound off and the closed captioning on that i've forgotten what everyone sounds like.

posted by grace at 9:15 PM on 01/19/07
posted to tv

beyonce's "irreplaceable" is really cute and sassy. i had to watch the video twice.

posted by grace at 1:54 AM on 01/13/07
posted to tv

am oddly mesmerized by the video for "fergalicious."

posted by grace at 1:40 AM on 01/13/07
posted to tv

aamer haleem is hosting the january 6 ep of vh1's v-spot top 20 video countdown! oh my god! where did the little bald pinfield man go?

posted by grace at 12:08 AM on 01/ 6/07
posted to tv

why does crate & barrel need to do tv commercials?

posted by grace at 11:59 PM on 12/29/06
posted to tv

it's been on my mind since tuesday night how certain co-workers seem to be giving larger and larger christmas gifts each year.

me: they're escalating.

posted by grace at 10:26 PM on 12/23/06
posted to tv

larry and megan of "numb3rs" are one of the cutest couples on tv.

posted by grace at 11:23 PM on 12/14/06
posted to tv

if it wasn't for the wiggles and mickey mouse clubhouse, i wouldn't know anything about playhouse disney -- i am not really crazy about any of their shows. in fact, they pretty much bug. (handy manny is kind of funny, though. occasionally.)

the little einsteins are at the top of my don't-watch list because while i don't find it ludicrous that four little kids roam the world in a rocket, i do find it ludicrous that said little kids are so well versed in classical music and art. and since i don't really like classical music -- i am clearly lowbrow -- the show gets on my nerves.

however, there is one thing that the little einsteins do that i like -- they ask for pat-pat-pat help to get their rocket going. i like it for this one reason: when cam tries to pat along, paul gets mad.

cam: fine, fine.
cam: they don't need my help.

posted by grace at 5:23 PM on 12/ 1/06
posted to tv

the other night cam and i were watching an ep of csi: miami about a prison break. in the final minutes of the show, it was announced that a potential victim of one of the escapees was on a field trip with her school at a local aquarium.

knowing that csi: miami is filmed here, you'd think that light bulbs would have gone off instantly. nope. so when i saw them walking into the aquarium of the pacific in long beach, i laughed in pure glee and pointed it out to cam.

the best part was when they located the escaped inmate -- he was wearing a faux-uniform with a patch on the sleeve for the "aquarium of the atlantic." we giggled like schoolgirls.

even though we've been watching csi and now csi: miami for a while now, i never see familiar places (which is kind of pleasing actually because then i can pretend that yes, those shows are really shot on location). my old assistant mentioned walking through the set of csi: ny near work, but since i don't watch that show, i'm more meh about that. it's fun to watch numb3rs and see stuff from around here -- but it's set here, so spotting a familiar landmark isn't a big deal. it's meant to be a familiar landmark.

but that's tv. put a movie in the area and i'm all a-twitter. when we watched "jackie brown" several years ago, i was so happy to see carson and torrance on the screen that i pointed out a bail bonds place to my dad every single time we ate at a particular ihop -- and that was pretty much close to monthly.

when i was in college, when people found out that i was from so cal, i'd fairly regularly get the "do you see a lot of movie stars?" bit. initially it was kind of cute. then it was kind of annoying. finally i just accepted it as a conversational tool:

to people from seattle: "must be nice to finally get away from all that rain."
to people from new york: "how many times have you been to the top of the empire state building?"

but i digress.

i keep telling myself that i'll pay more attention to locations on tv and movies, but i think it would be best if i didn't -- i suspect that would kill the silly mindless joy of suddenly realizing you're watching an actor walking in front of a place just down the street.

posted by grace at 4:58 PM on 12/ 1/06
posted to tv

on the way to work this morning, we saw a yellow miami-dade ambulance on the back of a truck. for lack of a better word, it was awesome.

the only thing that would have made it better is if david caruso* himself stepped out of it. a girl can dream.

*speaking of which, i just read in the paper that he is going to be the grand marshall of a local parade. we're in southern california. he is so going to be wearing the sunglasses of justice.

posted by grace at 12:12 PM on 12/ 1/06
posted to tv

i just love "csi: miami." it's just so over the top. horatio's sunglasses of justice (twop), delko's painted-on shirts, unsmileigh calleigh and her lovely hair, notgreg (i think his name is wolfe?)... what's not to like? we tivo a&e eps and watch them when we can -- filler shows for those random times we feel like sitting down in front of the tv but don't have the real desire to get sucked into anything.

posted by grace at 2:03 AM on 11/11/06
posted to tv

paul is fascinated by giant squid.

paul: let's swim like giant squig.

i recently rerecorded a documentary ("caught on film"?) for paul. he was not pleased with me when i deleted it the first time -- i had been watching it myself because it was interesting, but then deleted it when i was done. turns out he really enjoyed watching their animated re-creation how the giant squid ripped its own tentacle off because it was tired of being hooked. (yeah, gross, i know.)

paul: daddy, see... the giant squig ripped its own leg off!

i'm not sure how long i'll keep this one recorded, but it really is quite interesting and educational. as much as i love steve, it is kind of nice to break from blue's clues every once in a while.

posted by grace at 8:18 PM on 09/16/06
posted to mr. baby | tv

watching a lionel richie video (he's still singing?) which features his very skinny daughter in love with a guy who looks an awful lot like someone from csi:miami. man, that girl is tiny.

posted by grace at 4:53 AM on 09/ 9/06
posted to tv

on saturday night i found myself watching cbs' "48 hours mystery." the show was about a murdered teenaged girl whose body had been found in castro valley. i missed the beginning, so i didn't realize that the girl in the story had not yet been identified and that her murderer was possibly still on the loose.

eesh! if i had known that this story wasn't over and done, i wouldn't have watched it. didn't i have this very conversation with my mother not too long ago? i was rather nervous about walking around in my own house after watching this (yeah, yeah, I could have turned it off, but it was interesting). have i mentioned that two knives have gone missing in the last few months?

posted by grace at 7:05 AM on 09/ 3/06
posted to tv

last night we watched most of the blue's clues special. it was pretty meh. joe looked pasty and little puffy, but i felt a little bit pleased for him because he was getting to interact with something. sure, these were only puppets, but after all that time alone in front of a blue screen... yeah. so it was nice to see him talking to something.

blue's voice i'm used to (hi, YOU!), but sprinkles? ugh. that was pretty bad. and those spots? i liked him better all white.

maybe we'll finish it tonight. we could have finished it last night, but i was ready to turn it off.

posted by grace at 6:09 PM on 08/ 9/06
posted to obsessions | tv

being the big blue's clues fans that we are, you'd expect that i'd have a long review of the new special "meet blue's baby brother," right?

you'd think.

i actually didn't watch it on sunday. cam reported that paul wouldn't watch it because (1) it was blue's room, and (2) joe had scary hair. i skimmed it last night -- i wanted to watch it, but it was kind of painful because i don't like puppets. (not a muppet show fan. not even a sesame street fan. i watched fraggle rock as a child, but only because i thought the dozers were cute.)

i guess we'll try again tonight.

posted by grace at 7:03 AM on 08/ 8/06
posted to obsessions | tv

i don't think i'll ever understand my mother's fascination with court tv. it's not that i don't see the appeal of such a channel (because i do, crime is fascinating), but it's a little weird how she sits in her house in practically the dark and watches re-enactments of murders. i watched with her the other night and one show was fine until it was revealed that they hadn't caught the murderer yet.

GAH. i SO don't want to know stuff like that. "he could be my neighbor!" my mom laughed at me.

it's so strange -- this is a woman who once preferred sci-fi to practically anything else because the bad guys weren't necessarily human. if bad things were happening to good folks, well... the good folks weren't necessarily human, either. if everyone was human, well, they were in a land/time/whatnot far far away and stuff like that couldn't possibly happen in the here and now.

now my mom watches these crime shows without a second thought. me, i can watch crime fiction. i can watch ripped-from-the-headlines shit. i used to love "the new detectives" until i got the idea that maybe cam was trying to kill me. but put me in front of "america's most wanted" and i'm checking the locks and under the bed.

i wonder when things changed for my mom. when did she become more accepting of the fact that humans do bad things to each other? or does watching these things desensitize her to the crap going on outside our doors?

posted by grace at 11:13 PM on 08/ 4/06
posted to tv

"i like rock star," my mom tells me, changing the channel.

hm. let me just say that there is something definitely weird about sitting next to my mom in her little cottagey house, surrounded by her little cottagey furniture, watching a mohawk'd girl screaming "higher ground."

posted by grace at 12:24 PM on 08/ 2/06
posted to tv

paul: you watch dyy?
me: yes, but not right now.
paul: that guy, his name is karl champley?
me: [surprised] that's right!
paul: yes! i'm right.

posted by grace at 10:46 PM on 07/29/06
posted to mr. baby | tv

there's this hummer commercial i've seen a few times -- a woman reacts to another woman's son cutting in front her of her son in line (and to the second woman's subsequent bitchiness) by trading in her minivan for a hummer.

wtf?

i never realized passive-aggressiveness could be so expensive. i'd be happy never watching this commercial ever again, but paul really likes the music.

posted by grace at 12:42 PM on 07/27/06
posted to tv

good night, melanie. hope your replacement isn't nearly as annoying.

posted by grace at 7:50 AM on 07/26/06
posted to tv

who is melyssa ford and why would i want her picture on my phone?

posted by grace at 12:28 AM on 07/22/06
posted to tv

i've never been all that fond of sandra bullock, but i must admit that i have a soft spot for her (no, not because of "the net" or the fact that i must watch the end of "two weeks notice" whenever it's on tv) because she married jesse james. jesse freaking james.

cam and i used to LOVE "monster garage." (sooo much better than "monster house.") eventually we gave it up because of the drama. we just wanted to see the cars and what could be done with them. we didn't need to see hissy bitchfights over so-and-so not pulling his/her weight. if i wanted drama, i'd watch drama. "monster garage" is where i discovered that machinists are cool.

posted by grace at 12:14 AM on 07/22/06
posted to tv

why is "the world series of pop culture" so boring? is it the dave-foleyesque-from-a-distance host? or the teams? granted, we've only seen about half of one episode, but it was so dull i kept looking at cam as if to say, "um, sweets, why are we still watching these irritating people?"

posted by grace at 12:05 AM on 07/22/06
posted to tv

as much as we enjoy mythbusters now, i think we really liked it better when we thought that adam and jamie were in love.

posted by grace at 9:14 PM on 07/19/06
posted to tv

due to the fact that all scheduled programs on the diy network have a tiny "diy" in the corner, paul informs me that every show is "d-y-y rescue."

posted by grace at 8:02 PM on 07/12/06
posted to mr. baby | tv

my television preferences reflect my changing interests. although i still love the crime dramas and the naughty british humor (it is so amazing what the little britain men can get away with -- americans are such prudish fuddy-duddies), i am totally in love with diy network. amy devers is a goddess. i could watch diy to the rescue all day.

paul: me want watch d-y-o-o rescue.
paul: d-y-y rescue!

it's a useful show -- a practical one. they do useful (and neat) things. best of all, cam and i can watch it and not feel like such bad do-it-yourselfers. there are much, much worse ones out there.

posted by grace at 12:11 AM on 07/ 4/06
posted to tv

watching "the thorn birds" and listening to "the thorn birds" are two very different things. the music and the voices... gah. how i love closed-captioning.

posted by grace at 9:31 AM on 06/10/06
posted to tv

i just watched two people on tv make root beer (with sugar, carbonated water and root beer extract). sure, it looked yummy... but why?

posted by grace at 8:29 PM on 06/ 7/06
posted to tv

"now that american idol is over," my mother said gloomily, "tv is so boring."

posted by grace at 8:20 PM on 06/ 7/06
posted to tv

"... and they built stonehenge. one of the biggest henges in the world. no one's built a henge like that ever since. no one knows what the fuck a henge is. before stonehenge there was woodhenge and strawhenge. "
-eddie izzard

posted by grace at 9:18 PM on 05/28/06
posted to tv

potentially little britain
(we saw all of five minutes of an ep and there was a scene so funny i nearly cried)

finally giving the grissom-sara 'shippers something to squee about

stacy on what not to wear complimenting a girl for finally not wearing a skirt that's "so short you're giving away free slices"

posted by grace at 12:02 AM on 05/27/06
posted to tv

guys gone wild

dance off pants off

i guess i am a prude, but really, this shit is not all that interesting. more cringeworthy than anything.

posted by grace at 11:53 PM on 05/26/06
posted to tv

dammit, i have that stupid "do i make you proud?" song in my head. feh on taylor hicks and feh on the people who actually wrote that silly song.

posted by grace at 12:07 PM on 05/26/06
posted to tv

caught two minutes of a "sex and the city" ep on tbs last night. i have just this to say: chris noth has got it going on. yowza. i really like him on l&o:ci, so it's hilarious to think my last thought about him was, "you know, he does haggard really well."

posted by grace at 6:59 AM on 05/24/06
posted to tv

why is christopher meloni doing commercials for noggin? not that i'm complaining...

paul: that guy!
me: do you know that guy?
paul: mm-hmm.
me: oh yeah, sorry, forgot you were a oz fan.

posted by grace at 10:26 PM on 05/17/06
posted to mr. baby | tv

cam is very happy that taylor is on the verge of winning. i am resigned.

posted by grace at 9:07 PM on 05/16/06
posted to tv

although i am definitely not a bug/lily 'shipper, i do have to admit to having a bit of an "awww" moment when they had their big scene in the season finale. swoon. meepy.

posted by grace at 2:07 AM on 05/13/06
posted to tv

i will have to admit that there is one thing about babyfirst tv that is absolutely mesmerizing, and that is whenever the illustrator person draws something. initially all you see is a blank sheet of paper and then a hand with an arm attached to it just starts to draw (pastels, maybe?). it all just happens so quickly. first there's a curved line, then there's another curved line... and then lo and behold, you're looking at a pair of boots.

once you start watching it you just have to sit until the end. it is just that fascinating.

posted by grace at 1:45 AM on 05/13/06
posted to tv

the babyfirst tv channel is painful to watch. thank god that this is just a special free preview for mother's day weekend or there will be the clawing out of eyes.

i know that paul is still a toddler, but i can't help but think that's he's too old for the stuff we've seen thus far on this new channel. but... he's been so interested that i can't bring myself to turn off the tv. for me, though, this is one tv trainwreck i can avoid.

posted by grace at 9:13 PM on 05/12/06
posted to mr. baby | tv

did you watch the american idol elimination show last night? man, that was harsh the way ryan seacrest told chris he was out. i. loved. it. not that i had anything against chris, but that was just so well played.

posted by grace at 1:30 PM on 05/11/06
posted to tv

"that's like saying 'oh good, i've got syphilis -- the best of the sexually transmitted diseases.'"
-jeremy clarkson, top gear

posted by grace at 7:50 PM on 05/ 9/06
posted to tv

you know, if it weren't for zoboomafoo, i would have gone through life never having heard of a capybara, an aye-aye or a coati. thank you, kratt brothers. (must also say thank you to chris kratt for being a nice bit of eye candy.)

but... i also have you to blame for paul's sudden interest in cows. he loves loves loves the bovine episode. in fact, he loves it so much that after we watch it, he wants me to get down on hands and knees so he can "milk" me. "mommy, play cow!" um, no? i have told cam that the next time the child wants to watch that particular ep, paul is all his.

posted by grace at 8:52 PM on 05/ 4/06
posted to mr. baby | tv

so... elliott is safe another week. whew.

posted by grace at 9:08 PM on 05/ 3/06
posted to tv

was it just us, or did something really weird happen to our tv yesterday (and maybe the day before)?

last night i checked our recorded programs and saw eight episodes of l&o:svu. no description other than the standard "a special unit in new york investigates heinous crimes." i started going through the shows and four of them were identical. the other four were two pairs of the same episodes. i should have checked the dates and times before i deleted them, but i was so befuddled i didn't even think about it. l&o:ci was the same way. then i looked over at our blue's clues recordings and oddly enough, the two most recent ones were mislabeled. the most recent zoboomafoo recordings suddenly had titles and descriptions (hallelujah).

today the l&o shows still don't have descriptions, but at least they aren't dupe-recording again. i can accept that something might be going on with the usa network, but why were noggin and pbs kids affected, too?

posted by grace at 6:36 PM on 05/ 3/06
posted to tv

on a brighter note, i've decided that as soon as elliott yamin puts out a cd, i'll be buying a copy.

posted by grace at 8:24 AM on 04/27/06
posted to tv

good lord. tim rozon from "instant star" is so pretty-pretty you just want to say, "leave that skinny blond babygirl alone and snuggle yourself up to someone closer to your own age, eh?"

posted by grace at 8:01 PM on 04/14/06
posted to tv

"pros vs. joes" is a bit of a trainwreck. i don't find anyone particularly likeable on that show. the pros spend too much time reassuring each other that even after all this time their shit still don't stink. the joes are such trash-talking bastards that it's disappointing one of them has to win. looking for the lesser of three evils to root for is hardly the most productive way to spend an hour. sometimes the events are just plain strange. the soccer+golf thing? weird. holding your breath underwater for the longest amount of time? creepy.

petros is just petros. he says things that baffle and amuse, astonish and confuse (cam had me listen to a snippet of petros talking about degrassi, which he says is a good show to watch if you're lonely like him. it's full of canadian kids doing stupid things and saying "aboot" and something else funny i can't remember. i think i actually snorted at that.). i read today on a message board that petros is "a very shady usc booster who has used his family's greek restaurant to lure (read: pay/use sex) recruits to fig tech. not good." huh? gotta love how apparently papadakis taverna -- which is really close to my house -- is actually a bordello. next time we go eat there i'll be sure to ask for the belly dancer for a little something something on the side. ye gods. i don't know the man from adam, but i don't exactly see this happening.

anyway, back to "pros vs. joes." it's on, i listen (sort of), i peek over the side of my laptop, i ask cam, "what happened? i wasn't paying attention." sometimes i sing songs in my head to block out the talking, the endless talking. but honestly, there are worse things to be watching.

posted by grace at 10:08 PM on 04/11/06
posted to tv

i never knew what they were called until this moment. a digital on-screen graphic (d.o.g. -- also known as a bug, apparently) is that thing in the corner of your tv screen letting you know what channel you're watching. the first time i saw these, i thought they were neat, but as they have gradually become more and more obtrusive, i find myself annoyed by them.

the national geographic one is cool -- it's their golden rectangle, right off the cover of their magazine. it's instantly familiar, although, as cam and i realized, having an empty rectangle as a logo can be a little confusing because if you end up on that channel without thinking, you may find yourself staring at the rectangle and wondering what you're supposed to be looking at.

the worst, worst offender (to me, anyway) would have to be noggin. nick, jr. is kind of irritating, too, because they have a rotating series of them -- and they move -- and some of them are far too big. but noggin, oh my god, noggin has these huge, huge, huge logos (which change with the seasons) that regularly obscure the entire bottom right corner (haven't seen a left corner one in a while). when you're watching blue's clues, as we so often are in our household, you sometimes miss clues because they are hidden behind that goddamned logo. sometimes it's funny (like when mr. salt stepped behind a large snowman), but most of the time it's just an annoyance. a big cute wacky annoyance.

posted by grace at 6:54 AM on 04/10/06
posted to tv

my idea of educational programming? top gear and mythbusters. i can't even begin to express the joy paul showed when adam and jamie dropped a cadillac from the sky. and jeremy setting a truck on fire? sweet. "fire," said paul with obvious delight.

posted by grace at 11:38 AM on 04/ 9/06
posted to mr. baby | tv

saw a rather disturbing ep of zoboomafoo yesterday. i looked up and chris and martin were apparently naked together in a bathtub. i backed up the episode (thank god for tivo) and saw that they were in shorts in a hot tub because they were trying to simulate a hot springs pool for a japanese macaque (who was also in the hot tub with them). not outside the realm of the zoboomafoo world, i guess, but it just reinforces my feeling that this show is only marginally for children.

posted by grace at 9:44 AM on 04/ 8/06
posted to tv

am having the hardest time staying away from "high school musical" and "degrassi: the next generation." dammit.

posted by grace at 11:50 PM on 03/31/06
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in the snake ep of zoboomafoo, the puppet lemur made the kratt brothers behave like snakes and shed: "zoboo, why don't you tell a story from zobooland while we get into our new skins... i mean clothes!" laughed chris. hm. who is this show for, anyway?

posted by grace at 10:52 PM on 02/27/06
posted to tv

cam was watching a few minutes of the muppet show. kermit was drinking milk from a glass through a straw. the level of milk was actually dropping. "think about this," kermit said, then went on to interact with other puppets. now, if i had been drinking milk at the time, it would have come out of my nose.

posted by grace at 10:35 PM on 02/23/06
posted to tv

before today's ep of blue's clues was some sort of message about how watching this show improves metacognition or something like that. i have never heard this word before. is it new? it sounds very jargony.

posted by grace at 10:16 PM on 02/23/06
posted to tv

we've been watching a lot of zoboomafoo lately. weird vibes. i know they are brothers and this is a show for preschoolers, but there is... something kinky about this show. that's all i can say. mud, water, a closet... i am baffled and titillated at the same time.

paul just likes it when the lemur eats, burps, spins and jumps (usually in the first five minutes of the show). he tells me which episode he wants to watch by the snack the brothers give zoboo to make him talk. "watch apple," says paul decisively, leaving me to think frantically, "apple? apple? which one is that?"

posted by grace at 7:49 PM on 02/17/06
posted to mr. baby | tv

watched the episode of blue's clues today introducing miranda, magenta's owner/roommate. she bugged the first time i saw her ("magenta gets glasses"), but this time she was much more tolerable. shocking, i know.

posted by grace at 9:56 PM on 02/ 2/06
posted to tv

when the family car gets dirty
there's a place that you can go
just be sure to close your doors
and roll up the windows
it'll pull you in
and bubble you up
and spray you down
and dry you off
at the car wash

blech. just had to get that out of my head. i have seen "blue's big car trip" countless times in the last week or so. "would you be upset if i accidentally deleted that episode?" asked cam.

cam won't even watch it anymore, so i watch it with paul. tonight we saw it twice within an hour and a half. "at least you love the show," cam says. hello?! it's a joe episode. JOE. now if this were a steve ep, that would be something.

posted by grace at 12:36 AM on 12/31/05
posted to mr. baby | tv

in an episode of blue's clues, we learned how blue came to live with steve, et al. it was disconcerting, to say the least. bothersome, even. i have these questions:

1) where are steve and joe's parents?

2) where did joe go? if he was in the house as a baby, when did he leave?

3) how can mr. salt and mrs. pepper be so [occasionally] dippy if they have been able to successfully raise two humans and assorted, um, household objects from birth or near-birth?

4) how old is blue? she has been a puppy for at least 20 years.

i know i've been thinking about this too much, but i think if you watched several years' worth of eps in a matter of months you'd feel the same.

posted by grace at 12:49 PM on 12/19/05
posted to obsessions | tv

last night cam and i watched "trapped in the closet," chapters 1-12. we bought the dvd on saturday at best buy.

i don't think i could have watched it completely sober.

posted by grace at 12:20 PM on 11/21/05
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oh my lord, the end of csi was so sad! cam admitted to trying to talk through it because he knew it was going to be really heartbreaking, but it didn't work -- i was still a teary mess by the end.

posted by grace at 6:49 AM on 11/18/05
posted to tv

goren: i am an acquired taste.

posted by grace at 6:42 AM on 11/18/05
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learned tonight that three coincidences = conspiracy. i love me some bobby goren.

posted by grace at 1:45 AM on 10/22/05
posted to tv

had the most insane dream last night. i was a mormon fundamentalist (is there such a thing as a filipino mormon fundamentalist?) and the 15th wife of vincent d'onofrio. he kept doing that bendy-twisty thing he does on l&o: ci. it was a little disconcerting.

posted by grace at 6:49 AM on 10/ 4/05
posted to tv

watched the "jones" ep of l&o: ci this weekend, and i hate to say this, but that smarmy little attorney fixated on petite women -- griffin dunne? -- totally reminded me of someone i know.

posted by grace at 12:26 PM on 10/ 3/05
posted to tv

saturdays should be for errands, but today we appear to be committed to watching the trainwreck that is the "making the band 3" marathon on mtv. (that and being unwashed. i've been talking about taking a shower for hours now.) every once in a while someone will say, "okay, what are we doing?" but we haven't yet come up with anything more interesting than sitting in the living room and watching really poorly dressed girls sing and dance and live through manufactured drama. good times all around.

posted by grace at 4:55 PM on 10/ 1/05
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it was good.

posted by grace at 7:00 AM on 09/13/05
posted to tv

i'm pretty bummed. my steve (love!) burns cd seems to be lost forever. we had it in the car with us during the accident and i just have no idea what happened to it. cam says just to order another one, but i'm feeling doubly guilty because i was kind of mean to cam when he offered to copy the cd to his ipod. the boy and i were playing and cam kept leaving the room, so i accused him of looking for excuses to not stay and play with us.

yeah. i don't get that, either. oh well.

one nice thing about the cd issue is that the accident meant all cds from the car had to come into the house. (always looking on the bright side, that's me.) cam has a nasty habit of putting cds into any old case he finds, so i wasn't surprised to find our andrew denton musical challenge cd in the keane case. (sigh) i was able to finally match some cases to cds, so i was pretty pleased. i really need to do a sweep of our cds and put them in some sort of order. we have shelves for them, but any pretense of order was lost when paul became mobile.

i like thinking about when i was a kid and was absopositively determined that tapes were the way to go. when i was 12 and got both madonna's "true blue" and whitney houston's first album on tape i thought i was rad. then when my parents bought our ridiculously large cd player at my brother's request not long afterwards i thought they were all loons. funny how that works out. now i am continuing to buy cds in the face of cam's obvious delight with itunes. one day i'll give in, i'm sure, but if that happens, what will i do with all of our cd shelves?

posted by grace at 5:05 PM on 09/ 9/05
posted to obsessions | tv

last night cam could not stay awake, so i sat up with the boy. of course we watched blue's clues. but i don't discriminate – we watched joe eps, too! (in fact, we learned that blue has better handwriting than joe.) i was a little concerned when i saw lisa kudrow referenced in the listing for one of the steve eps – the one where cinnamon is born – so i was relieved to see that lisa provided the voice for the doctor. i don't want any other humans on that show.

one of the joe eps really bugged, and i'm not saying that just because i love steve. but then again, maybe i am? it is a matter of suffering by comparison, so yeah, i take it back. i love steve. he has earned the right to be referred to as "steve (love!)" so maybe i shouldn't even be talking about joe because i'm just going to say that he sucks, right? (wow, i just confused myself.) anyway, i normally don't have a problem with joe aside from the heavy pancake makeup. really. i mean it. (steve (love!) has some heavy-duty makeup issues, too. when his hair is really short and his eyes are all done up, i want him to sing "tainted love" for me.) but in this ep we watched, he:

1) wore a green shirt.
2) mugged far more than usual
3) could not figure out the word "joe"

sigh. i don't have a problem with his singing. i want to like him. he skidoos excellently well and i actually have to admit the way he wails "mail" is a little more pleasant for me than steve's (love!) grover-esque one. i think maybe it all comes down to the exaggerated confusion. steve (love!) usually has a "huh" look on his face. sort of like, "hm, hadn't thought of that. interesting." but joe is "huh? huh? HUH?" words fail.

posted by grace at 12:45 PM on 08/26/05
posted to tv

the other day i tried out an experiment. i told my mom, hey, there’s a filipino guy on rock star: inxs.

hey presto! now my mom wants to watch. gotta love that ethnic curiosity. at least she didn’t vote for jasmine trias.

posted by grace at 7:31 AM on 08/25/05
posted to tv

we only watched one ep of blue’s clues last night and it was a joe ep! feh.

posted by grace at 7:24 AM on 08/24/05
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it’s a good thing paul likes blue’s clues or i’d look like a total freak watching it by myself.

that said, there was absolutely no need whatsoever to watch seven episodes last night. he watched every tivo’d ep we had. there were more joe eps than steve ones. boo.

posted by grace at 4:19 PM on 08/23/05
posted to mr. baby | tv

i am sort of ashamed to admit that i have rock star: inxs to thank for my most recent music purchase. last week suzie had to sing “bring it on home to me” and i loved it. so we found the original sam cooke version on itunes and loved that as well. now i am the proud owner of sam cooke’s “portrait of a legend 1951-1964.” it’s lovely.

posted by grace at 9:26 PM on 08/21/05
posted to tv

my memory may not be all that great for important stuff (don’t ask me my son’s social security number), but it’s good enough for all sorts of fun not-so-critical stuff.

case in point:

we were watching an ep of ncis last night. “conspiracy theory.” i looked at two women in a car and declared that the redhead’s name was tammy from two eps of csi. i said something along the lines of “there was a girl and she was kidnapped by her babysitter and then she grew up and killed her ‘dad’ during a robbery...” the other woman, i looked at her mouth and said that i thought she was the little girl from “hotel new hampshire.”

ding ding ding! confirmed ‘em both this morning.

i so totally rock.

posted by grace at 6:04 PM on 08/17/05
posted to tv

you know, i really enjoy those strange little nfl films shows on the nfl network. i totally prefer watching those to say, most of my son’s favorite cartoons. but i do very much dislike that segment on kickers. that stupid wussy voiceover has to go. not that i have any particular love for kickers, but still.

posted by grace at 11:24 PM on 08/13/05
posted to tv

eames: shy guy. as shy as a kid in short pants. (l&o:ci “want”)

the hell? what does that mean? cam and i had to pause the episode to look at each other and say, “what?”

posted by grace at 12:55 PM on 08/ 8/05
posted to tv

have been watching (and enjoying) “stripsearch.” but i must know:

1) are there really this many guys in the united states wanting to be strippers?
2) where did they find such cunty guys?
3) is ryan ever going to get his comeuppance? what a little bitch that boy is.
4) would anyone want to go to this show?
5) do women dream of getting hot twin guy action?

posted by grace at 9:07 PM on 07/11/05
posted to tv

“you have caused confusion and delay!” said sir topham hatt sternly.

posted by grace at 12:06 PM on 07/11/05
posted to mr. baby | tv

the pirate parrot tells boots and dora (the explorer) to put the blue key in dora’s backpack for safekeeping.
me: finally! that’s smart.
cam: well, you don’t lose a leg and an eye without learning a little something about life.

posted by grace at 9:37 AM on 07/11/05
posted to tv

jerry o’connell is hot. man. i love him in “crossing jordan.” so goofy yet so delectable. if i wanted a tv boyfriend, it would be him. i used to feel this way about george eads on csi, but looking at him lately, i fear that i outweigh him.

posted by grace at 9:58 PM on 07/ 5/05
posted to tv

i cannot watch evander holyfield fight. i just can’t. i haven’t been able to watch him in years because i’ve just been afraid that he might just keel over and die in the middle of a fight.

however, i sure can watch him dance! how sad we were when he got cut from “dancing with the stars.” (but i was secretly glad because he wouldn’t have to hear mean comments from the judges anymore.)

posted by grace at 7:35 AM on 06/16/05
posted to tv

i love the wiggles. i just love them and their cute little songs and cute little dances.

we went to see them in concert not too long ago. it was fun and the boy enjoyed as much as he could before his attention span just wore out. me, i just really wanted to see anthony and captain feathersword. i find them almost embarrassingly hot. anthony wasn’t so cute in the early days of the show, but man, he has aged well. and captain feathersword? i saw a picture of him sans hat once (but with the earrings, of course) and he was smokin’. damn.

cam finds it a little creepy that i consider these children’s entertainers lustworthy, but hey, whatever gets one through the day, you know? if i am going to have watch these shows, i might as well enjoy them.

posted by grace at 5:47 PM on 06/12/05
posted to tv